Opinion
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Editorial: Bourne-ing down the Bern: 2016
July 25, 2016Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy film? A lone fighter struggling against a governmental authority responsible for controversial, covert schemes and robbing our fighter of his identity? Matt Damon as Jason Bourne has satisfied such spy inklings for years and will now return. First, there was “The Bourne Identity.” Then, “The Bourne Supremacy” and “The Bourne Ultimatum.”
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: A nation on political suicide watch
July 25, 2016My roommate, a modest conservative, had to endure the sight of me last week going full-fetal on our sofa, hugging a pillow, while I watched Fox News coverage of the Republican National Convention. “Why are you even watching this?” he asked, knowing full well my left-of-center views. “It’s like a train wreck,” I replied. “You just can’t look away.”
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Guest Column: UF and the failed coup in Turkey
July 25, 2016On July 15 in Istanbul, Turkey, soldiers closed the two bridges across the Bosphorus, the first indication that elements of the army were planning to remove the government of President Recip Tayyip Erdogan. In Ankara, the national capital, other soldiers took control of television stations and shelled the parliament building. President Erdogan had to use social media to rally his supporters. But by morning it was all over with Erdogan in full control.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Guest Column: Three reasons to consider agriculture
July 25, 2016First, it’s a way you can change the world. We need to produce more food over the course of your working lives than we have in the past 10,000 years. We’re not going to get there if people like you don’t come up with the scientific advances.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Darts & Laurels: July 21, 2016
July 20, 2016It’s been a crazy week, dear readers. Between that nonsensical WWE “Whose-nominee-is-this-guy-anyway?” deathmatch in Cleveland, Ohio, and Summer classes, it’s no wonder some of you might feel a bit overwhelmed. In times like these, kicking back and listening to some tunes might be all you need. Might we recommend to you some hot summer ’16 releases like “Dark Necessities” by the Melania Trump Chili Peppers or perhaps “Bored to Death” by Melania-182?
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: Sit down for the Republican National Circus
July 20, 2016The lights were hot on a stage that could barely fit the ringleader’s ego. Inside the tent, a frenzied audience, crying out with ayes and nays, hollered when the silhouette of a man awkwardly moseyed on stage. With a flourish of hand gestures, albeit tiny ones made with tiny fingers, he grandly introduced his prized lioness: Melania Trump. And so went the first night of the “Republican National Circus.” On the second night, dozens of entertainers, a UFC president and a pro golfer among them, paraded to the stage to excite an audience thirsty for Democratic blood and a Republican victory. Meanwhile, spectators at home and commentators on TV marveled at their performances, a series of acts that would make the Ringling Bros. proud.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opion: Catch those Pokemon — with caution
July 20, 2016Pokemon will celebrate its 20th birthday this year. Since 1996, 721 pocket monsters have come into creation, 73 different video games can possibly be played and 21.5 billion trading cards have shipped globally. Nintendo released “Pokemon Go” two weeks ago, and the free game has added $7.5 billion to Nintendo’s market value. The game has already surpassed Facebook and Twitter in daily active users. Nintendo’s newest creation satisfies the yearning for the nostalgic days wasted on Game Boys. However, as the new game can no longer be played sitting in the corner, walking around with a phone glued to one’s face yields some danger.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: Whose life really matters?
July 20, 2016The past few weeks have been troublesome for our country. Rather than add my voice to the chorus (read: cacophony) of those opinionating, I chose to listen, weighing the implications of cyber grief and outrage.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Editorial: Sure, we have Pokemon, but...
July 18, 2016Over the next week and a half, the political elite of both major parties will evolve themselves from the primaries to the general election. Afterward, the candidates will ready themselves for battle in the gym we call America, and the two political parties will find themselves, according to The New York Times, $150 million in debt to the private entities (gym leaders) that will write checks for the conventions this year — all the more reason for our representatives to prioritize donors over constituents.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: No stone unturned in a war of ideas
July 18, 2016“The manner in which burning is executed is as follows: He who had been thus condemned was lowered into dung up to his armpits, then a hard cloth was placed within a soft one, wound round his neck, and the two loose ends pulled in opposite directions, forcing him to open his mouth. A wick was then lit, and thrown into his mouth, so that it descended into his body and burnt his bowels.”
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COLUMNS
Column: Avoiding financial blues this summer
July 18, 2016Avoiding the financial summertime blues
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: On SG and Aramark’s expansion of Chick-fil-A
July 18, 2016On Friday, July 15, UF Student Government released a video via Facebook enthusiastically announcing an upcoming expansion to the Hub’s Chick-fil-A location. Under a cheery guise of “Moving Gators Forward,” SG seemed excited about the new breakfast options. As stated in the video’s caption, “Starting next year, UF students can finally ask, ‘Chick-n-Minis or Chicken Biscuit?’”
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Darts & Laurels: July 14, 2016
July 13, 2016“Most people think/Great God will come from the skies/Take away everything/And make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth/You will look for yours on earth: And now you see the light/You stand up for your rights. Jah!” — To quote the late great former singer of the Wailers and beloved symbol of weed and reggae himself. There’s a lot of wrong in these times we live in. Our country needs healing — and not the kind where we stop at hoping and praying for the best. Far too long we’ve been complacent in the red. Now, in the spirit of completely abrupt and random transitions…
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COLUMNS
Opinion: What story do NBA contracts tell children?
July 13, 2016We are about to hit the apex of the Summer semester. That means a lot of studying and stress the further we dwell into July. Of course, for any males in decent shape and more than 6 feet tall, there is a tempting alternative to compete with countless of hours of studying. They could drop their books right now, head to the gym and start practicing their jump shots. The NBA is calling their names.
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COLUMNS
Review: Toot thumbs up for a flatulent film about what it means to be human
July 13, 2016“Swiss Army Man” is a multipurpose movie, meaning something different to each viewer. To me, it was a message about not wasting your life by living in fear. To my mom, it was a message about the importance of speaking up. And to my dad, it was a suggestion to let out his farts more frequently.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Editorial: Black lives and police officers
July 11, 2016This past week’s trauma is no secret.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: Commercial fireworks should be banned
July 11, 2016China may have invented fireworks more than 2,000 years ago, but fireworks have been linked to America since the birth of this country. In a letter to Abigail Adams on July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote that the signing of the Declaration of Independence should be celebrated with “... Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.” While fireworks were once championed by a future president and first lady, they are now advocated by Joe Dirts with butane lighters.
OPINION
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COLUMNS
Opinion: Hold fast to optimism, even when you experience tragedy
July 11, 2016To those of you who are not familiar with Bob Ross, stop reading this column and immediately turn on your computer and watch one episode of “Beauty is Everywhere” on Netflix.
OPINION
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EDITORIALS
Darts & Laurels: July 7. 2106
July 6, 2016Some of you have reached out to the Alligator asking our position on the recent Supreme Court ruling.
