Welcome back for the home stretch of the spring semester - a mere five weeks remain until the endless possibilities of summer embrace you with open arms.
Online news outlets apparently yanked their thesauruses out from beneath their beds last Thursday, labeling Jon Stewart's interview of CNBC's "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer with headlines such as "Stewart Eviscerates Cramer, CNBC," and "Jon Stewart Thrashes Jim Cramer."
There have been a ton of hard-hitting items in the news lately: President Barack Obama has pushed forward stem-cell research, the chairman of the Republican National Committee announced that he's pro-choice and Jon Stewart nearly made Jim Cramer wet his pants. That's all well and good, but I want to talk about something that's really been on my mind. Sunday, Comedy Central roasted Daniel Lawrence Whitney - better known as Larry the Cable Guy - and I shed a tear for comedy.
TAMPA - The room reeked of heartbreak.
I do not understand how UF has an extraordinary main Web site, but our e-mail service is nothing short of rubbish.
TAMPA - It has become a tired cliche: UF must win but comes up short.
With the Gators' season on the line, their best player had put on a disappearing act.
Get out the polka-dot bikinis and bottles of grain alcohol - The Department of Darts & Laurels officially declares Spring Break 2009 open for business.
For those of you who don't know me, or for those of you who I have offended, I apologize if you took the meaning of my column to be anything but satire. As an effective satire only mirrors reality, I stand by what I have written for a few reasons.
It is no secret to anyone (except maybe Florida State economics students) that the economy is in its worst state in years.
On Wednesday morning, the entire editorial staff of the Daily Emerald - the student-produced newspaper at the University of Oregon - went on strike in protest of the attempts of its board of directors to install a publisher with unprecedented control over the newsroom.
I am not about to resort to the name-calling that Spanky from the Little Rascals, or a certain journalism-and-German junior at UF for that matter, would employ as his first response to a female threatening his self-proclaimed territory.
Bipartisanship is a dream; a glorious fantasy thought up by politicians who wanted to turn the public against their opponents. In all practicality, it doesn't exist.
Perhaps the understatement of the year would be to say that we live in a time of economic uncertainty.
Wednesday night in Starkville, Miss., a small city that just 24,000 people call home, the UF men's basketball team's season died quietly in its sleep.
Before Carrie Bradshaw, there was Barbara Millicent Roberts. She turns 50 years old this week, and she's never looked better.
No news isn't necessarily good news.
It's hard to see it behind her meek smile.
I was once informed that the only way to gain a clear understanding of a political group or a movement is to hear what one of their die-hard partisans has to say on the subject.
Joshua Nederveld is a chauvinistic, pea-for-a-brain, wannabe meathead. As a woman who regularly uses the bench (with her measly 70 pounds), I am outraged by his delusional "unwritten laws" of the weight room.
Solutions by The State News
