Opinion

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Reform is constitutional

Student Government president blows golden political moment

In the game of politics, Double J just rolled a double zero.

Current events bring sense of deja vu

Rarely is this question posed: Have I unknowingly been in the hot tub time machine or has the past week or so been a really wicked case of déjà vu? I have recently been asking myself this as a series of seemingly long-exhausted events came to an incredibly startling — OK, slightly entertaining — temporal intersection.

Darts and Laurels

We’re not sure about you, but it’s been quite an eventful week here at the Alligator.

Health care is only start of much greater war for the United States

In the days following the signing of the crown-jewel of Democratic domestic policy, the Alligator’s Editorial Board, its gallery of columnists and other esteemed members of the media have been touting victory for the president in the 100 Years War for universal health care in the United States.

New bill will give enormous power to American federal government

Mr. Will Penman,

Band’s evolution reflects columnist’s

Music is a very important tool to measure what kind of mood you are in over an extended period of time. It can be difficult when your favorite band seems to betray all of its previous values in pursuit of a more mainstream sound, making it more aesthetically pleasing to the masses.

Meyer gives story new life

Deonte Thompson didn’t make a whole lot of headlines on the football field last season, but he’s certainly made his fair share — unintentional as they may be — during the first two weeks of spring practice.

Health care bill targets tattoos with tax

One of the best parts of the latest fad in American federal legislating is how the actual content of our billion-dollar bills remain completely secret until after they are signed into law. It’s like a scratch-off lottery ticket, and who doesn’t love the excitement and anticipation of scratch-offs?

Filthy Facebook: UK study relates Facebook to syphilis

Students don’t need another reason to feel bad for lurking on Facebook, but UK officials just added one more to the growing list.

The ‘C’ Word

We cannot even begin to imagine why anyone would still want to listen to Ann Coulter.

Raise Bright Futures standards

Look at what has been on American television and what has been popular in American music for the past decade. Look at the countries that have been the most innovative in mathematics and physics for the past two decades; America is no longer one of them. Look at the American manufacturing machine and how it has been struggling for the past three decades. The list can go on.

Accent mishandled Samberg show

With deference to Andy Samberg, last night’s event was disappointing to say the least. Let me preface this by saying that if you don’t think $72,000 is a lot of money, just stop reading and check out today’s crossword.

Samberg show disappointed

OK, so Andy Samberg is funny. Unfortunately, not as funny as many expected. With a lot of the crowd leaving before he finished making his last weird face or avoiding his last question in a strange voice, it seemed the event didn’t quite live up to SNL dreams. The Q-and-A setup might have been rather interesting — I am personally addicted to “Inside the Actors Studio” — if Andy had actually answered a majority of the questions. His attitude, dress and request that no pictures be taken (what am I supposed to do with all that empty space in my OMGsPrING2010 album on Facebook?) made Andy appear less like the silly, fun guy who sings about jizzing in his pants. I’d personally like a $72,000 refund.

Columnist ‘too objective’

Matthew Christ: To which political party do you belong? I couldn’t tell after reading yesterday’s column. Maybe if you had spent a few words glorifying one of the two parties, I could have figured it out. Perhaps some shameless, ruthless bashing of all things related to your political opposition would have helped. I turn to the opinions section of the Alligator to see stubborn opining, not acceptance and compromise.

New Bright Futures standards will hurt everyone

I think the idea that the Bright Futures Scholarship Program is going to hurt minorities is ridiculous. It is going to hurt everyone. I’m a white, middle-class female, and I took the ACT three times before finally reaching the goal of 100 percent. I feel like we set a low bar for minority students, when in reality they have the same potential to achieve these scores. As a future teacher, I believe everyone can learn, and it’s about time everyone adapted that principle. The purpose of Bright Futures is to help hardworking students afford college. It’s an incentive. Bright Futures is trying to refrain from giving out such an incentive by requiring higher scores, but that makes it difficult not just for a certain group but for everyone. Minority students are capable, very intelligent and can achieve similar, if not better, scores than their Caucasian peers.

Health bill will lead to entitlement

I find Will Penman’s Wednesday column urging conservatives to move on absurd. If you, Will, are going to write against your ideological archrivals, please make some attempt to understand them. May I do some explaining?

Democrats stayed true to convictions

Yes they did.

So Long, Rush: Web site raises money to oust Limbaugh

For most liberals, independents and sane conservatives, Sunday’s passage of the health care bill meant one thing: Rush Limbaugh is leaving the country.

Conservatives: Move On

In response to the health care bill passing in the House of Representatives Sunday night, I noticed a friend’s Facebook status that was something like this: “Here comes the downfall of America.” I expanded the comments to join in on the sarcastic follow-ups. “The health care bill is going to kill us all!” was my best candidate for something to add. Then I saw that they were all serious. America really was doomed in their eyes. Welcome to the end of the world, I guess.