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Thursday, June 18, 2026

Opinion

Florida Alligator
Opinion

Student Body deserves explanation from UF administration

During my four years at UF, it was obvious that Bernie Machen’s administration had zero concern for the Student Body. When Andrew Meyer was Tasered, when the Graduate Assistants United asked for slightly higher pay to teach classes, and when entire programs were cut without student input, the administration stood squarely against the students. Maybe it is fortunate that the worst offense to the Student Body came the year after I graduated and migrated north. Even if the brutal maiming of Kofi Adu-Brempong was somehow justified, it is the administration’s duty to stand up for its students. The University Police Department exists to protect the Student Body, and when a student is left with gruesome injuries at the hands of a UPD officer, the Student Body deserves an explanation and an investigation. Machen and the UF administration have once again failed the Student Body; blessing a handful of students with a meeting is not enough to fulfill the obligations that Machen is handsomely paid to perform. It has never been more clear that this university needs a new direction and new leadership. We need a university president whose loyalty and responsibilities don’t end with collecting a massive paycheck, and we need justice for the UF Student Body.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Darts and Laurels

Get excited, people – the end of the semester is on the horizon. But beware because there’s something else lurking on the surface of the calm waters. And that something has taken the form of an exams-project-and-paper iceberg that will take that optimistic steamboat of yours down if you’re not careful.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Columnists should be more serious

I am writing to lodge a complaint against Tommy Maple and Ryan Spencer. A column is an opportunity to make people think about ideas and issues in a way that other sections of the newspaper can’t. I believe the two of you often squander this opportunity in an effort to sound humorous and smart. As an avid reader of The New Yorker, where high-brow, and often convoluted language ultimately serves as a flourish to a more important point, I encourage Maple and Spencer to have a little more respect for their readers. I often finish one of their columns and find that thought-provoking substance occupies a marginal space, and the remainder is a weekly exercise in the stringing together of forced metaphors. Now, I know that these columns are supposed to be humorous, and I think they both have a talent for humor. I only ask that if you’re going to write a column with a subject matter of importance, that the subject matter get a little more airtime next to the humor.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Reader tired of people defending student in shooting incident

I’m tired of everyone standing up for Kofi. You only have a problem because he is a student like you. You have no reason to defend him. In case you didn’t know, he had been sending e-mails to staff accusing them of wanting to kill him. He was also under the impression he was going to be kidnapped and taken to Africa and slain. He was either on drugs or completely insane. The police officers who broke into his apartment were in the right. They did exactly what they were trained to do. There is no such thing as police brutality. The police are trained to do whatever it takes to subdue a problem. People just blow it out of proportion. Stop defending Kofi, and stop trying to fight the police officers.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Protesters should consider officers’ perspective in shooting

I feel the public is ignoring one side of the graduate student shooting incident, probably because it is easier to identify with the student and not with the police officers. People say things like “I feel like this could happen to me,” or “This should have been handled by mental health professionals,” without really thinking about the situation.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Chivalry is alive and kicking

A gentleman is as gentle as the woman he wishes to impress or pursue. When we see chivalry as a long-forgotten, dusty corpse, it means that somewhere inside we have murdered it. The problem with our generation is not that we don’t know how to court, but that women have forgotten how to be women and men have become utterly confused as a result.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

UF suffers zombie-hater infection

There is a vast hoard arising at UF. It is recognizable by the hoard’s pasty, livid complexions. You can spot them a mile off by their awkward, stumbling, limp gaits. However, the best way to spot one of these bastion’s life-sucking buggers is to get up close and personal, so you can see the dead, hopeless gaze in their eyes.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

UPD’s CIRT officers are unqualified

It goes without saying that students should not have to fear the police who are employed to protect them. Kofi Adu-Brempong’s incident is surely a moment the University Police Department should learn from. But the student organizations calling for the end of the Critical Incident Response Team are clearly missing the point.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Amendment Zero: solution for ‘Kongress’

One of the great mysteries of our time is the paradox of state government. Every few years, each state in our great union selects the brightest and most talented descendants of privilege and sends them away to plot out the boundaries of our daily lives. Just like clockwork, these seemingly divine figures time and again fail to deliver on their promises and the effulgent nature of their haircuts.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Editorial Board should pull the stick out and have more fun

Dear anonymous, uptight dude who hates the Humans vs. Zombies game: You suck. Life’s too short to hate on others who are enjoying themselves, be they nerd, jock, or a jerk like you. This game is an international hit, and one out of every 50 UF students are registered to play. Registration for this game is double that of February’s game. But, not you. No, you’re too busy hating others who are breathing way too much of your oxygen as they run past you with grins, Nerf guns and fake blood on their faces. So guy, pull the stick out, have a little fun, and purge the green monster from your soul or you will be forever unhappy — a fate worse than being an actual zombie.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Students should consider working for the federal government

It’s just about that time of year again. If you are an underclassman like me, the economy is still looking down and you could use a well-paying internship or job to get you through the summer. For those UF seniors about to enter the real world, the job market is looking especially rough.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Nerf gun ban important

I think the Nerf gun ban is important, because we have an undertrained, undereducated police department that has consistently demonstrated incompetence in making emergency decisions. I mean really, how many AR-15 rifle shots to the head to we need to understand that?



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