With a mere month remaining in the semester, the Department of Darts & Laurels is starting to worry about our currently nonexistent plans for the summer.
It's 9:17 a.m. He's still asleep, of course. You're wearing his clothes, but there's no way you're going to wear them home. And your only other option is a little red dress and leopard stilettos. But with a 10:40 a.m. class and a desperately needed shower, you swallow your pride and brave the streets.
Johnathan Lott's column on the need to increase the quality of education at UF is well-intentioned but terribly misguided. First, Florida Opportunity Scholars are held to the same admission standards as other UF students. So to suggest that there is a "lack of any notable academic qualifications" is to suggest that not only are the scholarship recipients underqualified, but that the rest of UF students are undeserving of admissions as well. Immediately after, he suggested that this program is risky because some of the money will be wasted on students who "can't handle UF."
Everyone loves a villain. Well, we like to hear about them, anyway.
A growing phenomenon sweeping the nation promises to trick your taste buds into thinking sour treats have magically turned sweet - all with one little "miracle fruit."
People have spent the past few days filling this paper with complaints about the budget cuts. Admittedly, the cuts are controversial and probably imperfect, but you have to make sacrifices when there's no money available. For those of us who are already here, there's not much to do other than accept it.
While economic uncertainty runs rampant in north Central Florida, one major corporation's consolidation of offices will soon heat up an otherwise stagnant Gainesville job market.
The budget cut proposal presented by CLAS last week targeted the Department of Religion as one of the programs set for a substantial cut, threatening its future as a viable program. Founded in 1946, the Department of Religion at UF is an undeniably strong program dedicated and essential to the ideals of a liberal arts education.
As a current undergraduate student, OPS research assistant and future applicant to graduate school at the University of Florida's Department of Geological Sciences, I urge Dean Paul D'Anieri, Provost Joe Glover, the Board of Trustees and President Bernie Machen to reconsider the taking a cleaver to the geological sciences department.
She's a spectacle, and just like rubberneckers passing a five-car pileup, Americans can't seem to look away.
Last Wednesday College of Liberal Arts and Sciences Dean Paul D'Anieri revealed possible CLAS budget cuts which, if implemented, would reduce funding for the Department of Religion at UF by 65 percent. This would leave the department with a mere four faculty members and would likely end the graduate program.
While the U.S. economy continues to sing a sour note, one sector of industry has left business owners with a sweet taste in their mouths.
News from Washington reveals word of critical steps being taken to increase security along the Mexican border, with hopes of controlling drug cartel-related violence.
This week Parade Magazine, that renowned paragon of investigative journalism, published a list of the top 10 "terrible tyrants" next to a full-page color ad for those mysterious Amish fireplaces.
This column is written in rebuttal to the dean's assertion that Geology is a drain on the resources of UF because of the low number of Ph.D.'s and undergraduates.
I didn't know that I was lying to my child every time I said, "If you work hard enough, you can achieve anything."
Gainesville city elections are today, and if you haven't voted early, this is your last chance to make your voice heard in what will prove to be a historic election.
Continuing his trend of engaging in everyman endeavors, President Barack Obama's actions Thursday evening rang true with innumerable people across the country - wishing he could take back the words he already said.
Ever since the end of the Cold War, political and historical experts alike have predicted a decline in American hegemonic status. Some of the nuttier experts, such as Russian scholar Igor Panarin, have even predicted a complete collapse of our union into four different republics. Longhorn fans will be pleased to know that Panarin predicts the Republic of Texas will be the biggest of the four new countries, incorporating even Florida.
Next month, the state of Michigan will join the ranks of 12 other states who currently allow for the use of medicinal marijuana - the first located between the Rockies and the East Coast.
Solutions by The State News
