In introducing incoming freshmen to the Opinions pages of the Alligator, we have to temporarily revert (at least mentally) to what it was like to move to Gainesville. The only guideline we have to go on for the inaugural editorial is something freshmen would like.
Alas, you've made it. Your 'rents are gone, you're already sick of Broward Dining and you may or may not have thrown up in your pillow case last night. (R.I.P. Fall 2006; I haven't eaten pad thai since.)
Although I doubt that I am the first person at UF that you have heard this from, I would like to welcome you to the University of Florida!
Greetings, oh young and naïve freshman!
Writing columns for the Alligator was never my first choice-I wanted to be a reporter. I've since realized I have zero aptitude for that profession, but that's what I wanted to do. After trying and failing and trying and failing, I decided to submit something to letters@alligator.org. To my surprise, it was published as a guest column. When I got the e-mail asking for my classification and major, I turned to my roommate and said, "I am going to be opinions editor of the Alligator by the end of the summer." And it happened.
This following is an open letter to all new freshmen at UF.
It has been my secret dream for three years now to hijack my commencement speech. I had the perfect plan. There was just one problem; there will be no big-name speaker. When I learned this, it hurt. Because, Gators, there are issues we must discuss.
Thank you for your editorial piece "Campus ban removes smokers' rights." However, it neglects to mention one of the main problems with smokers: the fact that they just throw their butts on the ground no matter where they are at.
Change is afoot in Gainesville right now. All it takes is one look at the Alligator parking lot full of cars crammed with clothes, kitchen utensils and random boxes to know that summer is coming to an end, and everyone is ready to begin anew in his or her freshly leased pads. But, before you get too excited (and crumple up this paper to use as packing material), we would like to present you with an are-there-really-only-two-weeks-until-fall edition of…
Sunday nights, trash nights, before I roll the garbage out to the curb, I strip off all my clothes and leave them in a little pile on the bench by the front door. Naked, I approach the street with the garbage can, which smashes the grass under its weight. It's one of the busiest streets in Akron, Ohio, during the day. But come 2 a.m., traffic is sparse. After the can is in position on the curb, I don't hurry back to my pile of clothes. Instead, I pace the dew-soaked grass, and I let the night air touch all the parts of my body it normally can't.
My name is Frank, and I used to be a senator. For the past 12 weeks, I served as a replacement senator in the Student Senate, and my term ended last Tuesday at the end of the last Senate summer session meeting.
Johnathan Lott/s July 30th column is either deliberately misleading or laughably misinformed, possibly both. He implies that if marginal tax rates go up, the government will take "56 percent of every dollar" that a wealthy person earns. Is UF/s economics department really so bad that an economics junior doesn/t understand marginal tax rates? Honestly?
KBR, the former Halliburton subsidiary that/s now the Army/s largest contractor, is a threat to the safety of our servicemen and servicewomen.
The man charged with 25 counts of battery last April has gotten his comeuppance.
As if university students who smoke didn/t have enough to worry about already, UF will ban cigarette smoking on campus beginning in July 2010. Healthy Gators is quick to point out that only 9 percent of UF students smoke. But just because someone is in the minority doesn/t mean their rights should be taken away. Last we checked, this was America.
Glee for green has been a long time coming in this country. What started out as an almost underground burlap sack movement has sprung into a multibillion-dollar enterprise and an entire culture, even generation, of planet-conscientious actions.
Former Gainesville Police Department Lt. Bill Billings has finally faced the music.
During last Tuesday/s Student Government Senate meeting, I was rather disturbed by certain comments that were made asking the Alligator to not report the events that transpired. Indeed, the reporter was specifically singled out and told to withhold publishing that the majority party voted down a string of proposed ethics legislation when they had done just that.
Universal health care.
Matthew Christ/s column Tuesday was tired and a failed attempt at entertaining readers.
Solutions by The State News
