Slate for Swamp Party
By Agassy Rodriguez | Jan. 26, 2014Dear University of Florida students,
Dear University of Florida students,
After months of criticism regarding the National Security Agency’s data collection program, last week, President Barack Obama announced changes to the program. No longer will the NSA be allowed to collect phone records of average citizens as it currently does in its never-ending quest to seek out the bad guys who threaten the United States.
Temperatures have dropped and so have our pants, apparently. With the cold weather, one method of staying warm has increased: masturbation.
Quiz. The four-letter word alone is enough to fill a classroom with panic. But flash “quiz” across the screen anytime I’m on the Internet, and my eyes light up.
Another arctic week in Gainesville has come and gone, and our resolves are being tested. The initial thrill of finally getting the chance to break out those dusty boots and moth-eaten gloves has worn off, and now we’d give anything to return to frat tanks and flip-flops. Our tropical temperaments simply aren’t suited for 30-degree nights. And remember: It’s not too late to get a flu shot from the Student Health Care Center. Seriously! It takes, like, five minutes, and the nurses are very nice.
On Wednesday, delegates from 30 countries met in Switzerland for the Geneva II conference in a desperate effort to create a solution for the chaos in Syria.
Dennis McGuire took 25 minutes to die on an execution table in Ohio on Thursday.
Whether you’re conservative or liberal, you have to agree the country is warming up to the idea of marriage equality. In its latest poll, the Pew Research Center reported that 51 percent of Americans support marriage equality, and with the U.S. Supreme Court’s recent decision to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act, pressure is being shifted back to states to legalize marriage equality.
Fellow students,
Dear Alligator,
Call it a millennial thing: Online dating is now, more or less, an acceptable way to meet someone. For college students, it makes sense. Among going to classes, working part-time jobs, balancing extracurriculars and browsing the slim pickings of the Gainesville-nightlife scene, it’s hard to find a mate. Online dating provides an intuitive solution, complete with matrices that calculate who your best matches are based on personality. Plus there’s the added convenience of being able to browse dating options in the comfort of your own home — preferably in a pair of sweatpants.
It’s no secret that college graduates are facing an uphill battle these days, unless you have an in-demand major such as accounting, engineering or computer science — in which case, you’re set.
This week, we celebrated the life and work of Martin Luther King Jr., the most well-known and important leader of the American civil rights movement. King sought to use the power of nonviolent protest and his unparalleled oratorical skills to promote social and political equality for all Americans, regardless of race, color or economic status.
Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian and Gainesville’s own Grooveshark co-founder Josh Greenberg addressed an auditorium full of UF millennials last week. The talk touched on the Internet, entrepreneurship and failure.
As with any new trend, the Internet has had strong opinions about the subject of selfies. Many people argue that they are conceited, the evidence of our self-centered generation. The word “selfies” even sounds like “selfish.” But these judgments are practically archaic.
Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions, but not his or her own facts. Nearly 33 percent of the American population — and yes, we are talking 2014 here — does not believe in evolution.
Although Woody Allen’s quip, “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying,” is famous, the best line about death comes from British entertainer Bob Monkhouse: “I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.”
The state of Florida granted UF students and staff a day off from work and classes to honor the memory of Martin Luther King Jr., a pioneer of civil rights for black Americans. You already know this, of course. Every elementary-school curriculum includes the study of King and his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.
President Bernie Machen recently unveiled a plan to create more student study space on the first floor of Marston Science Library.
In Tuesday’s article on the availability of The New York Times on campus, the Alligator made some serious errors in reporting.