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Opinion

Darts & Laurels: November 4, 2016

Nov. 3, 2016

You’re sitting in the driver’s seat of your ol’ beat-up Chevy, parked at the edge of the hill overlooking the city. He’s looking as gorgeous as ever, illuminated by the twinkling lights of the town. “The city looks beautiful from here,” you whisper to him “but not as beautiful as you.” You lean in for the kiss, and he meets you there. “I’ve never done this before,” he giggles nervously as he crawls into the back seat. “Yeah, me neither,” you whisper to yourself as you turn around and look at him. He’s smiling, waving one finger your way, silently telling you to join him. You’re about to crawl back there, but you spot a copy of the Alligator on your dashboard. “Not tonight,” you say to the guy you love, who’s been waiting a whole year for this moment. “I’ve got to read…

Opinion

The problem with TV news is partisan commentary

Nov. 3, 2016

On Monday, CNN announced it would be severing ties with Donna Brazile for furnishing Hillary Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta with questions that would be asked in one of the primary debates. The emails, which were provided by a WikiLeaks email dump, reveal that Brazile sent Podesta emails describing almost verbatim some of the questions Clinton would receive. While Brazile was initially hired by CNN specifically to be a Democratic strategist, her actions were, as her CNN colleague Jake Tapper put it, “journalistically horrifying.”

Opinion

False advertising: the 'No Man’s Sky' video game and consumer protection

Nov. 3, 2016

Back in 2015, Sean Murray, the head developer and mastermind behind the video game “No Man’s Sky,” appeared on the late-night programs of Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert to promote a game that was very far from being finished. Then, after multiple delays, the supposedly “completed” game was released in August, only to be bombarded with poor reviews and intense criticism.

Opinion

In the riptides of ranch

Nov. 2, 2016

While we do live in an age of nostalgia, dear reader, there are some points of our childhoods that are best left untouched. If you’re a grown man and you bring a glove to a baseball game, we need to talk. If you put ketchup on your eggs, perhaps it would be best not to eat eggs in the first place. Most notably, if you dip your pizza into ranch dressing, please go find a hole somewhere on campus — there are plenty with the construction going on — and sit in it until you are ready to recognize the error of your ways.

Opinion

The NFL struggles to deal with domestic violence

Nov. 2, 2016

The NFL has a problem on its hands.

Opinion

What high-school sex ed really needs to add: a discussion about consent

Nov. 2, 2016

My high-school sex education was brief and to the point. “Don’t have sex, or you will suffer severe psychological and physical trauma” was the main message, hammered to the point with vivid pictures of STDs and a video where some edgy teen discussed his misadventures with sex in very forced slang dialogue. The add-on point was “If you are being physically abused by your partner, here’s a hotline you can call.”

Opinion

Solitude in a world filled with billions of people

Nov. 1, 2016

This weekend, I had the pleasure to find that the band The Last Shadow Puppets covered a Leonard Cohen song titled “Is This What You Wanted.” This song talks about a breakup and how the separation has affected one of the two people. The part that immediately resonated with me was the verse that goes: “You defied your solitude/I came through alone.”

Opinion

From your Student Body president: events for Civic Engagement Week

Nov. 1, 2016

Hello Gators,

Opinion

Secular self-reflection is necessary for every single human being, part two

Nov. 1, 2016

Last week I discussed at length a column that appeared in the Alligator entitled “Religious self-reflection is necessary,” in which the author (whom I will call Mr. Editorial, as the author was unnamed) took the position that the world’s religions need to come to an understanding of the social context they were born out of. I’m paraphrasing his words, but he argued we have morally progressed since the founding of Christianity, Judaism and Islam. As an example of this progression, Mr. Editorial highlighted the instance of a British Muslim school teaching its young girls that being beaten by one’s husband is morally permissible, using this to show religions need reform and need to morally improve. It is this idea of moral progression that I want to flesh out in this column.

Opinion

We are only as strong as our weakest link

Oct. 31, 2016

On Monday, our editorial covered a very touchy topic. We decided to evaluate how a beloved TV show, “Bob’s Burgers,” was able to create a genuinely funny autistic character. It flirted with notions of comedic permissibility and how to identify that thin line between funny and disrespectful.

Opinion

Halloween and the carnivalesque: defying expectations for one day a year

Oct. 31, 2016

For as long as I can remember, I have touted October as my favorite month and Halloween as my favorite holiday. There wasn’t a defining moment where I decided this was the case, yet this fact has remained a minor facet of my identity I often analyze around this time of year. Perhaps it came about as a result of my adoration for vampires, horror films and sinister folklore, because Halloween allowed my otherwise-bizarre fascination to be cool for just one day. Or maybe it was because of my incessant desire to subvert the social norms of my suburban South Florida environment, as Halloween gave me a parent-approved outlet to do so.

Opinion

Tina Belcher and confrontational comedy

Oct. 30, 2016

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges a humorist must face is making jokes on topics that are extremely personal. In times of heightened sensitivity, this challenge only becomes more difficult. Although jokes about things people can’t change are always dangerous territory for comedians, there’s one show on television right now that confronts autism in a way that is delicate, respectful and downright hilarious.

Opinion

Appreciate single parents, because mothers and fathers can do it on their own

Oct. 30, 2016

Melvin Henderson felt like a failure as a parent each time he had to wait outside of a public restroom.

Opinion

Sharing your thoughts and opinions is much better than stifling others’

Oct. 30, 2016

This week, a thing is going to happen: We are going to choose our new president. Let’s take a moment to talk about the gravity of that last statement. We are going to choose our new president. Who are we to be making this decision? We’re just people. However, we live in a society in which we’ve been gifted with the privilege to elect our own leader. Although we are certainly allowed to complain about our choices and be dissatisfied, let’s not forget how truly amazing this concept is.

Sports

alligatorSports Picks Column: Week 9

Oct. 27, 2016

Site: EverBank Field (Cap. 82,871)

Opinion

Darts & Laurles: October 28, 2016

Oct. 27, 2016

You can’t believe you’re getting your first tattoo. It’s the one you’ve always thought about getting. The infinity sign with Chinese characters in one loop and barbed wire in the other. “All right, that about does it,” the artist says as he reaches to get a mirror. He holds up the mirror behind you, and you can’t believe what you’re going to have to live with for the rest of your life. It’s not the infinity sign with Chinese characters and barbed wire in it. It’s just two words and an ampersand in between. Every time you take your shirt off and someone’s behind you, they’ll politely pretend to ignore the tattoo big with bold lettering that reads…

Opinion

Every vote matters: why I am choosing to vote this year and why you should, too

Oct. 27, 2016

With the presidential election just around the corner, ‘tis the season for unsolicited arguments about political and social issues. Instead of spouting nonsense about why I think people should believe a certain way, I want to share some of my personal reasons for voting, with the hopes that they might give some of you a reason to vote in the upcoming election.

Opinion

The international farce that is the United Nations

Oct. 27, 2016

The United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) ratified a resolution Oct. 18 denying the Jewish people’s deep historical ties to Jerusalem. While the resolution acknowledges the “importance of the Old City of Jerusalem and its walls for the three monotheistic religions,” the sacred hill is only referred to by its Islamic name, al-Aqsa Mosque/al-Haram al-Sharif. Not only does the resolution make no reference to its Jewish name, Temple Mount, which happens to be considered the holiest site in Judaism, but it distinctly puts quotation marks around “Western Wall Plaza,” a subtle attack on the legitimacy of its Jewish connection.

Opinion

Keep things in perspective, because the world may not be as bad as it seems

Oct. 27, 2016

The world in 2016 might look and feel like a never-ending (and rapidly expanding) dumpster fire, but the reality is that the dumpster fire is not actually growing. Instead, it's slowing down.

Opinion

The rise of apex predators: Netflix and HBO Go

Oct. 26, 2016

There used to be a time when movie rental stores roamed free across this vast land. Blockbuster would graze happily on its nourishing customer base. Rival species Hollywood Video would gladly pick up the scraps.