No one likes to hear stories about drunken driving, drunken fighting or getting caught drunkenly relieving yourself on a wall outside a bar. We don't like these stories because they always end with some form of the meaningless slogan "Drink Responsibly."
With a historic election having just ended and Thanksgiving just a few weeks away, it's easy to forget about that other holiday.
You've got to love the cowardice that comes with increased technology. We know we do.
Remember "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey"? The movie told the tale of two dogs and a cat who got separated from their owners and were forced to trek through the wilderness to get back home. They fought porcupines, fat animal control employees and - worst of all - random holes in the ground. In true family movie fashion, the trio overcame all the obstacles to make it back to their family.
First, we would like to pat ourselves on the back by giving UF a thanks-for-saving-us-money-now-and-making-us-money-later LAUREL for being ranked No. 2 on Kiplinger's list of the 100 best values in public universities.
The Editorial Board is salivating in anticipation of the weekend. We know we're still a day away, but we can't help but look forward to it because we have the best plans for Friday night.
On Oct. 23, 2006, Time Magazine introduced us to Illinois Sen. Barack Obama. The publication allowed the face of a first-term U.S. senator to engulf the whole cover with the headline, "Why Barack Obama Could Be the Next President."
The Editorial Board has caught a lot of flack for supposedly being biased toward Sen. Barack Obama. We want to make it abundantly clear that until about two weeks ago, we had no idea which candidate was going to receive our votes and our endorsement. However, today we can proudly say that we are officially endorsing Obama as our preferred choice for 44th President of the United States.
Forgive us for bludgeoning a poor dead horse, but we have to stress the importance of voting one last time.
To kick things off this week, we want to take on the ObamaBot because, for a while, we were uncertain how to approach our mechanized, liberal friend.
When we heard that a Jacksonville high school was going to change its name because it was named after a controversial historical figure, all we could think of was the movie "Forrest Gump."
The green movement isn't showing any signs of slowing at UF. Unfortunately, this may spell disaster for many pink-bellied beach cruisers who lack the 21-speed savvy of seasoned cyclists.
Editorial Board foot, meet Editorial Board mouth.
We've got some potentially devastating news for all of UF's serious pregamers: The city's Public Safety Committee has recommended that the Gainesville Police join forces with Gainesville Fire Rescue to prevent overcrowding at the local bars and clubs.
We cried foul when the now-infamous Student Government Gmail scandal dropped on SG election day, and then we screamed for change. Our only demands were transparency and fairness.
If you don't want your younger siblings to learn the truth about Santa Claus, then Virginia is the state for you (spoiler alert!).
We love being Gators because the enthusiasm on campus knows no bounds. Seriously, UF students get hyped up for anything and everything and then work their tails off to make everything bigger and better than originally expected.
The political pestering never seems to end.
It's that time of year again. Anyone who has been in Gainesville for UF's Homecoming weekend knows all about the gridlock, the game and that, apparently, alligators can growl - something we didn't know until the fall of 2005.
Enduring an economic crisis does not justify devolving into a reprehensible, socially irrelevant miscreant, which is exactly the transformation people undergo when they decide to make ends meet by scamming and robbing the elderly.
Solutions by The State News
