Justice and compassion may be abstract concepts, but that doesn't mean they elude all definition. Actually, we know for a fact that the concepts of 'justice' and 'freeing a mass murderer" are mutually exclusive.
One of the worst welcomes a UF student can receive is "permanent triple." Probably the second worst welcome they could receive would be telling them they have to room with a cross between a peer, a Mother Hen and an authority figure.
Want to hang out at our house? Well, Friday is your chance. 'Cause it's Friday. You ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do.
Bright Futures recipients are still getting a hell of a break, but this year it won't be quite as big.
In introducing incoming freshmen to the Opinions pages of the Alligator, we have to temporarily revert (at least mentally) to what it was like to move to Gainesville. The only guideline we have to go on for the inaugural editorial is something freshmen would like.
Change is afoot in Gainesville right now. All it takes is one look at the Alligator parking lot full of cars crammed with clothes, kitchen utensils and random boxes to know that summer is coming to an end, and everyone is ready to begin anew in his or her freshly leased pads. But, before you get too excited (and crumple up this paper to use as packing material), we would like to present you with an are-there-really-only-two-weeks-until-fall edition of…
As if university students who smoke didn/t have enough to worry about already, UF will ban cigarette smoking on campus beginning in July 2010. Healthy Gators is quick to point out that only 9 percent of UF students smoke. But just because someone is in the minority doesn/t mean their rights should be taken away. Last we checked, this was America.
The man charged with 25 counts of battery last April has gotten his comeuppance.
Former Gainesville Police Department Lt. Bill Billings has finally faced the music.
Texting while driving is a scenario that is familiar to most students at UF, and the concept of cell-phone-addicted-screaming-girl is a trope that is ubiquitous in our current pop culture. (We recently saw it in an episode of the Jonas Brothers/ TV show, so like, even babies know about it. Don/t ask.)
Things are not looking good at the Department of Darts & Laurels right now. The weekend hasn't even started yet (and it won't until this white space has been filled), and a deadly mixture of beer and Mario Kart Wii (we call it Beerio Kart) has already destroyed our apartments, bodies and minds.
Ritalin. Concerta. Vyvanse. Adderall. The Editorial Board is willing to bet that you know at least one person who has been prescribed one of them.
In George Orwell/s "1984," the three slogans of the ruling party are "War is Peace," "Freedom is Slavery" and "Ignorance is Strength." Amazon.com might as well change its slogan to "Downloading is Deletion" after this weekend.
The wide-sweeping health insurance reform that President Barack Obama has promised is finally on its way to being delivered, and the Editorial Board is not sure how to feel about it.
When a judge is nominated for the Supreme Court, the nitpicking invariably begins.
The Editorial Board would like to make note of the political crisis in Honduras, an event upsetting the lives of millions of the country's citizens.
If resigning from a post like governor of Alaska is hailed as a potentially "brilliant strategy" for a career, the Editorial Board might as well consider Sarah Palin the Geri Halliwell of the political world - Gubernatorial Spice, if you will. Not as catchy as "Killa from Wasilla," but we've gotta keep it current.
Although we currently lack an Opinions Editor, the Editorial Board is still chock-a-block with opinions. As we prepare to celebrate National Let's Light Shit On Fire Day, let us all remember to exercise caution when launching a Roman candle at the feet of our drunkest friend. We hear the emergency room waits on July 4 are more painful than the burns. Plus, no one likes losing digits. Without further adieu, the Editorial Board presents Darts & Laurels.
Students returning to Gainesville for Summer B classes may notice something missing from outside the Fine Arts building: Art.
Solutions by The State News
