Dear readers, we’re nearing the end. Five weeks into Summer A. It’s already almost over: crazy, right? It’s time to hit the books and try to pull some miracles in these classes so that we can all go back to enjoying what summer is truly about… never-ending rain?
Well, dear readers, this is it. We’re calling it. The end is nigh — and not the cool kind of Nye we all know and love from probably the only thing we liked in elementary school more than recess: “Bill! Bill! Bill!” (If this reference went over your head, you need some more science and bowties in your life!) But for real, the coming months are basically life-or-death… or move to Canada.
If you’re on the lookout for some life coaching, Dr. Ben Carson awoke from his slumber, yet again. Let’s see what message he brought to Fox News on Memorial Day: “America right now is like a cruise ship that is about to go off of Niagara Falls with tremendous carnage and death.” Hmm… Never mind. This sounds more like some nightmare he had after seeing “Titanic.” Anyway, we at the Alligator would never do you like that. We’d never give you up, let you down or run around and desert you. So, relax and fade away into our latest segment of…
On Friday, President Barack Obama made a remarkably historic visit to Hiroshima, Japan, calling for a “moral revolution” and a “world without nuclear weapons” in his address. If this rhetoric sounds at all familiar, that’s because, well, it is.
It’s that time of year, dear readers: The days are getting hotter, the sun’s growing brighter, the list of your friends on wild summer vacations is getting longer and longer. Don’t worry: You may be shaping up for exams now that Summer A is halfway over, but this Summer here in Gainesville is still fire. Traffic is super light, the lines to the clubs are nearly non-existent and there are fewer people around to clog up your Wi-Fi when you’re on an all-night gaming spree. Most of all, you’re in for a treat: our senseless ramblings, our assessment of life’s deepest concerns, our latest segment of…
By now, most of you have probably heard about what happened at Nevada’s state Democratic caucus on May 14. Violence, chair throwing, verbal harassment, a California senator fearing for her life: At least, this is what happened according to many Democratic officials and major media.
Hear ye, hear ye, dear readers. We’re already nearing the end of our second week this semester. How does time pass so quickly? Are we to learn that the Earth is rotating on its axis at faster rates? Is the very fabric of spacetime in jeopardy as the possibility of a Mein Drumpf presidency becomes evermore plausible? No matter: We invite you to take solace and pleasure in our latest segment of…
We know this election cycle’s been hanging over your heads for what seems like forever, though probably still not as long as it’s been since you’ve returned your grandma’s voicemails. (Give her a call back, for heaven’s sake!) In so many ways, though, we’re just getting started. The general election is steadily approaching, and for weeks, all we’ve been hearing about is the need for party unity.
Welcome back, readers. Welcome home. We hope you enjoyed that little sliver of vacation. How did it come and go so quickly? It seems just yesterday we were in the heap of finals week, shamelessly praying to the gods to save our GPAs. No matter: time to trudge on through another season of classes. Treasure this semester, dear readers. It looks as though it may be our last.
We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of a big, green, gamma-radiated “Avenger” who, for some reason, seems to break through every article of clothing except his shorts, or the tales of a “hell week” that drain all happiness and restfulness from students as they descend in a Walking Dead-like fashion upon their neighborhood libraries and Starbucks, indiscriminately feasting on raw study guides and fresh coffee.
Dear readers, this beautiful Monday marks our collective descent into the abyss. Many of us students find ourselves waking up to the academic reality we’ve been trying to ignore since Spring Break. Papers, finals, deadlines: It all comes down to these next two weeks.
Normally, Fridays are reserved for Darts & Laurels. But today, the Alligator would like to dedicate this editorial to the survivors of sexual assault, the victim advocates, nurses and detectives who work to heal survivors.
It’s a beautiful world and a wonderful life, but these are also times of great civil unrest. Tensions between civilians and police, institutionalized racism and movements like “Occupy Wall Street” and “Fight for $15” are sobering reminders of such unrest. In light of all this strife, you’d think when a noteworthy example of nonviolent civil disobedience arises, there’d be relentless cable news coverage of it, right? Right?
Over the past few weeks, it appeared as though Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton were about ready to channel a Mortal Kombat-level deathmatch over each other’s qualifications. The fire may have subsided, but many voters, including us Alligator staffers, still wonder: Is either Sanders or Clinton truly qualified to be president? Better yet, what does it mean to be “qualified”?
We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of an undercover spy, or so-called “fairy” (likely Soviet-trained) sneaking into our children’s bedrooms to do Lord knows what with their precious teeth or the tales of a puppet hiding behind his nasal mutation to cover up his habitual dishonesty. No, we want to highlight supposedly truthful claims and offer a reminder of their unfounded foundations.
Bathrooms: For some, they’re a sanctuary of privacy from incessantly annoying roommates. For others, they inspire a frantic cleaning spree before an unexpected visit from mom and dad. But for those in the transgender community, bathrooms represent civil struggle.
We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of Japanese-animated Italian-American plumbers loading up on mushrooms and picking fights with fire-breathing dinosaurs, nor the tales of an undocumented bunny who can’t keep track of his eggs. (And why do we insist on sending our children to pick up after his mess?) No, what we wish to discuss is the collection of falsehoods so many of us commonly accept as “probably true.”
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, life takes it all up a notch. Everyone knows this election season has not been unlike mint-flavored Oreos: an endless cycle of frustration and disappointment. Yet, last week we may have finally witnessed the craziest accusation of 2016.
So, the season six finale of “The Walking Dead” happened Sunday night. Wasn’t it crazy? Wasn’t it intense? There’s so much to discuss about this series, in fact, that AMC Networks created a talk show centered around it called “Talking Dead.” You all probably know this, because the talk show has come on just after the most recent episode of “The Walking Dead” since the premiere of season two in 2011. AMC has copy-pasted this formula a few times: “Talking Saul” parallels “Better Call Saul” and “Talking Bad” paralleled “Breaking Bad.” The network’s got a knack for creating whole subcultures around these shows, which is really a double-edged sword.
With less than three weeks left of classes for the semester, some of you are getting ready to head home, backpack through Europe or earn some cash with a summer job. But there is an unfortunate group of Gators stuck in Gainesville (or attending another state university as a transient student) to fulfill the state requirement of Summer semester classes. A moment of silence, please.
Solutions by The State News
