Living forever is best type of immortality
By VINCENT MASSARO | Nov. 18, 2007College is a time for youthful exploration, limitless learning and planning your funeral.
College is a time for youthful exploration, limitless learning and planning your funeral.
Why is everyone on a diet all of a sudden?
I challenge you.
The other day, Gov. Charlie Crist rubbed his magic funding bottle and a little legislative genie popped out and granted him one wish. Unfortunately, Charlie exchanged his other two wishes for visits to a tanning salon.
The Gator Nation is anything but, thanks to a study showing UF is a top-20 university for studying around the world.
It may come as a surprise to you, but America doesn't do tiny. Miniature book sales are at all-time lows. I sold all my stock in thimbles years ago. Mini-Me hasn't had a good role since Austin Powers.
As I waited in line for the bagger to pack my groceries, I noticed he was placing just two items in each bag. With only 10 items, I walked out of the store with five bags. I knew something was wrong.
If you have ever wanted to be in the Guinness World Records book, I am sorry to report you just missed your chance this year. Thursday marked the third annual Guinness World Records Day.
Months ago, I took a vow of abstinence, and I failed. That is, I failed to abstain from my constant use of Facebook.
Apparently, Regional Transit System has changed a few of its routes for its Later Gator service. I hate to use an oxymoron, but it's a seriously comedic matter.
Come on now, Alligator editorial board. Have you gone nuts? What's up with telling students their votes won't matter on Jan. 29? It is this type of thinking you'd expect from the Fox News pundits, not a beacon of hope in the journalism industry such as you guys.
I'm disappointed in you, ladies. The rain is beginning to subside, the heat has gone into hiding, and you still won't go camping.
Have you ever considered the treatment of animals we rely on for food? Our childhood image of large pastures with a red-and-white barn surrounded by happy, free-roaming animals could not be further from the truth.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's … the fall semester.
I don't know about you, but spending a semester abroad is something I've been thinking about doing since arriving at UF.
Who's in the know about nooses in the news? Probably fewer people than the number who know about Britney Spears and Tasers.
For this week, I'm adding a little holiday twist to my work - for Halloween, not Homecoming. Vincent Massaro, the Monday columnist, might disagree, but I've seen some strange happenings around Gainesville over the past few days, things that might have something to do with the supernatural themes Oct. 31 entails.
Marijuana will be decriminalized before 2015. When that day arrives, be prepared for exactly nothing horrible to happen. Your children won't be murdered at gunpoint. Your liquor store won't be robbed. There will, however, be some bitchin' parties.
To the UF community and The Gator Nation the world over,
Man, I feel like a woman.