SITE: The Swamp (cap. 88,548)
KICKOFF: 7:30 p.m., Saturday
TV/RADIO: SEC Network/Gators IMG Sports
Jim McElwain begins his second year as the Gators head coach on Saturday night, and the ball coach from Montana is looking for another chance to make UF football great again.
But more importantly, this means the return of the alligatorSports picks column. Every week, we’ll be here to pick eight games against the spread, share some laughs and hopefully leave you inspired.
Or not.
Either way, enjoy.
This week, assistant sports editor Ethan Bauer and online sports editor Patrick Pinak kick things off by debating tonight’s Rocky Mountain Showdown — 8:05 on ESPN — between Colorado and Colorado State.
Colorado State (+8.5) will win because…
The Rams are coming off a 27-24 overtime loss to their Rocky Mountain rivals, and second-year head coach Mike Bobo is looking for revenge.
Bobo, who replaced Florida coach Jim McElwain, is a former offensive coordinator at Georgia with a fair amount of prestige. He already led CSU to a 7-5 regular season record and a bowl appearance in 2015, so this season the goal is to improve on that.
And what better way to improve than by beating your team’s biggest rival in the season opener at Mile High in Denver?
Even without departed receiver Rashard Higgins, the Rams’ offense should be good enough to meet the 8.5-point spread and, with a few clutch plays and lucky bounces, good enough to win.
-Ethan Bauer
Colorado (-8.5) will win because…
Last year’s matchup between these two teams featured a back-and-forth ending that concluded with a game-winning field goal to seal Colorado’s 27-24 overtime victory.
But don’t expect this year’s Rocky Mountain Showdown to be as close.
Buffaloes quarterback Sefo Liufau is back for his senior year after breaking a bone in his foot. Liufau’s return is significant because CU’s passing game was down last year — it managed just 13 touchdowns and 12 interceptions.
Colorado’s offense, which didn’t lose much in the offseason on all fronts, should thrive and beat the 8.5-spread against a Colorado State team that lost its top three receivers to the NFL.
-Patrick Pinak
Now, onto the picks!
Coming in first for the first time is alligatorSports editor Ian “Do I have to talk?” Cohen, who lives in a permanent cloud of darkness, especially since Dwyane Wade left the Miami Heat for Chicago. We’re honestly kind of surprised he stuck around for another semester as editor, considering the position involves remembering people’s names and generally being a pleasant person. We know life is hard, especially without Wade, but try to smile at least once at the rest of us, OK?
Coming in second is alligatorSports assistant editor Ethan “There’s a dress code, right?” Bauer, who doesn’t go anywhere without wearing a button-down shirt and a tie. Hey Ethan, we know you think you’re better than all of us, but how about you skip the pants next time you’re in the baseball press box for a noon game? The pit stains on your shirts will thank you.
Next up is staff writer Jordan “I only own flannel shirts” McPherson, who hasn’t bought a new shirt since he finished puberty in 2010. Nice short-sleeved flannel, Jordan. Too bad we live in Florida and it reaches 90 degrees by 11:30 a.m., or your shirt selection would’ve been a really smart move.
Rounding out the alligatorSports group is online editor Patrick “I played baseball in high school” Pinak. We get it, Patrick, you’re a jock. Now, please stop telling us the story about how you would’ve hit a home run on your 10th grade JV team if it wasn’t for a last-second gust of wind that got in your eyes as the pitcher began to throw. We all totally believe you.
Coming in fifth is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “Oh yeah, it’s on motherf****rs!!!!” Thompson, who used that same phrase to express his excitement at the return of the picks column for the 2016 season. We get it Edgar, you’re excited, although we don’t know why. Your performance in the alligatorSports picks column usually resembles your golf game: A strong start after the first few rounds, but you crash and burn halfway through.
Next is the Gainesville Sun’s Graham “Bad life choices” Hall, who, despite (finally) being a graduate, still insists on dressing like an abandoned frat boy. We hate to break it to you Graham, but you’re a real adult. You should probably try to look like you know what you’re doing. Also, let’s try to make it through a football season without you giving birth to 20 kidney stones. Is that too much to ask?
Back for a third stint in the picks column is Gator Country’s Nick “I’m like 30 but have gray hair” De La Torre, who should’ve started using Just For Men hair products, like, 7 years ago. Hey Nick, no amount of bench presses at the gym are going to turn your hair back to its original color.
And last but (probably) not least is 247sports’ Thomas “I suck at this, but sure” Goldkamp, who gladly decided to come back to the picks column this year even though he has no idea what the hell he’s doing when he turns his picks in every week. It’s OK, Goldkamp, you can drown your last-place sorrows in cheap beer and film study on Sundays.
