The weather is starting to heat up, and students are shedding their polar vortex sweaters for muscle tanks, crop tops, swimsuits and anything that shows off their midriffs or deltoids.
With all the exposed skin, one thing is on everybody’s minds: sex.
But with the stress of finals and the short time left before people move away for good — or just for the summer — no one has time to dedicate to a relationship.
I’m proposing an easy solution: no-strings-attached sex.
No-strings-attached, or NSA, sex is a great trick for when you want to have sex but don’t want to have any of the emotional baggage that might come with it. It’s like an agreement between two — or sometimes more — people that the relationship is strictly for sexual pleasure.
There are three basic subgroups for NSA sex. In order of least responsibility and attachment, there’s your standard one-night-stand, the f**kbuddy and the ever-so-reliable friends with benefits.
For all three, though, the biggest issue is initiation. I think we can all agree that the “Want to come over and watch a movie?” trick is a bit overdone.
Yes, that’s the standard code for hooking up, but it’s still unclear. And I can’t be the only one who’s tired of only getting to watch the first half of movies and having to look up the rest of the plot on IMDb in the morning.
There’s a better solution, but it seems to differ based on gender.
Here’s a tip for the gentlemen: Offer incentives. Getting ready for a booty call is a process. Females are expected to shower, shave and find clean underwear that generally involves some form of lace, silk or mesh.
Sometimes, it’s a lot easier and far more enticing to sit on your couch in pajamas watching “House of Cards” on Netflix.
So offer us something in return for our trouble. Yes, an orgasm is great, but dig a little deeper. Tell your lucky lady you just ordered a pizza, that you just picked up some wine or that you just acquired some sweet new vinyl.Snacks, alcohol and chill jams can please almost anybody.
On the flip side, girls need to be more direct. I asked some of my male friends what they would prefer, and they all agreed girls should just be forthright.
One said, “There’s no better feeling [than] when a guy finds a girl attractive and that girl says she wants to have NSA sex.”
Another said if a female asks to have sex, the answer will usually be yes.
For both genders, if you are already friends with the person in question, or if you have already hooked up with him or her, the process might be a lot easier. You might just be able to get away with sending a “Come over?” text.
If you already feel comfortable, you could arguably even send a, “Yo, you wanna f**k?” text.
Regardless of how you initiate, make sure the end goal is clear. You should both be on the same page of where this fling is going and clarify that it is casual.
It’s awkward if one of you is in it for the sex and one is in it because he or she thinks it will lead to a relationship.
When you do initiate, don’t sound desperate. Come off as confident, and you’re more likely to be successful.
Some other last-minute tips? Make sure to change your sheets before the lucky lady or lad comes over. Stained sheets don’t scream sexy.
And always, always make sure to use protection. I also recommend having a quick conversation about what sexual acts are off-limits. Your partner is less likely to agree to NSA sex in the future if you do something that makes him or her uncomfortable.
Remember that NSA sex should be fun, easy and, most of all, drama-free. If you’ve found that your partner wants to talk about his or her day or feelings or that he or she comes over just to hang out, it’s no longer no-strings-attached.
Sorry, friend, you’ve found yourself in a relationship. You’ll have to consult another guide for that.
[Robyn Smith is a UF journalism sophomore. Her columns appear on Mondays. A version of this column ran on page 7 on 4/14/2014 under the headline "Mating call: A guide to finding your next no-strings-attached hookup"]
