One of my favorite movie scenes is the Blues Brothers clip where Jake (John Belushi) begs to avoid the wrath of his former girlfriend.
To explain why he left her standing at the altar, Jake uses this litany of excuses: He ran out of gas, had a flat tire, didn't have money for a cab, his tux didn't come back from the cleaners, an old friend visited, his car was stolen and there was an earthquake, a flood and locusts.
Pretty impressive list. But nowadays, it seems like people only need to say two words to justify an action: budget constraints. "The economy" works just as well.
It puts an end to discussion in almost any situation. Seriously, try it with your friends.
"Dude, you've owed me five bucks for like a month. Where's my money?"
"Sorry man, budget restraints are kicking in. You know, the economy and stuff."
"Yeah bro, it's really hard out here right now. Take your time."
That's basically what the Florida Senate used to justify ending steroid testing in state high schools, and in this case, I don't think it flies.
Last summer, the Senate opted not to renew House Bill 461, which required the Florida High School Athletic Association to run a one-year program that randomly tested one percent of athletes in football, baseball, softball or weightlifting for anabolic steroids.
The program, which cost $100,000, tested 600 athletes at 53 schools and found just one steroid user, and that low yield was enough to convince legislators that steroid use isn't a problem in Florida high schools - at least not a problem worth fixing.
I couldn't disagree more. If anything, the program should have been expanded.
Just because the small-scale test only turned up one result doesn't mean there isn't a problem with performance-enhancing drugs in high schools. And the simple fact that a test existed was a deterrent for some athletes.
Take O'Brian Abner, a student at Orange Park High and one of the football players tested. Abner told The Associated Press last week, "(The test) probably stopped some kids from taking (steroids) because they felt like they might get caught sooner or later. I think it was really good, and I think it should keep going every year."
No doubt, in a tough economic time, money earmarked for high schools is more likely to flow to education than steroid testing, but what's really more important: new physics books or making sure students don't damage their health?
I vote with the latter.
And they couldn't cough up $100,000? I know it takes a lot of trimming to reduce a budget, but this is a necessary program.
Only three states are left testing for steroids - Illinois, Texas and New Jersey - and with its plethora of talented athletes, Florida should be on that list. Universities even have an incentive to get involved.
A large number of these athletes will end up playing in college, so the state's major college athletic departments should chip in and fund testing to help keep their future players clean.
And even if the state can't find the money and my athletic departments suggestion doesn't make sense, I can think of another way to secure the funding.
New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently admitted to using steroids, and I'm betting it would do a lot for the former Miami Westminster Christian High star's image if he broke off a chunk of his $275 million contract to fund a steroid-testing program.
I'd at least like to hear A-Rod's excuses if he turns down that offer.
