We recommend downloading Icona Pop’s new album because it’s going to be the soundtrack to your summer. Just trust us.
This brings us to the lord-beer-us-strength-to-survive-that’s-an-Office-quote-we’re-not-heavy-drinkers edition of...
Darts & Laurels
There comes a time in all musicians’ lives, we’re assuming, when they ask themselves, “Am I still relevant?” That’s the only explanation for Brad Paisley’s new song, which features LL Cool J, titled “Accidental Racist.”
“We ought to try to understand people different from us,” wrote Time’s James Poniewozik. “Country star and hip-hop star, trading lyrics and sharing billing for peace. Don’t pre-judge! Don’t assume the worst of people! What’s not to like? Oh God, so much.” It’s an awful song, you guys, even though it sort of tried really hard to be a good-hearted one. We give a yes-we-remember-Franklin-Bluth’s-musical-career-too DART to Paisley/Cool J. Next time, don’t be so terrible.
Remember Octomom? Yeah, we’ve been trying to forget about her, too. But this time, we agree with her opinion on something, so we thought we’d share it with you. Recently, InTouch magazine had her pose in outfits similar to Angelina Jolie’s, but she doesn’t see the similarity. “I get that we both have a lot of kids, but I don’t think I look anything like her,” said Nadya Suleman, aka Octomom, according to the Christian Post. We give a neither-of-you-should-probably-be-responsible-for-that-many-children-but-at-least-one-of-you-can-actually-afford-it LAUREL to Octomom.
Who here has felt well after putting Taco Bell into their body? Let’s see a show of hands. No one? That’s what we thought. We’re not knocking the founder of “fourthmeal,” but at some point, we have to realize eating weird amounts of shoddily put together food isn’t good for us. (Don’t get us started on Checkers or its self-esteemless motto: “You gotta eat!” It’s like the company knows we only eat Checkers when there are literally no other options. Anyway.) “Our customer tastes and needs are evolving,” said Greg Creed, Taco Bell CEO, according to an article written by USA Today. “They want more balanced options.” We never didn’t want that, sir. That is, to say, we’ve always wanted balanced options. Fast-food restaurants just haven’t provided them, and now we’re wise to it. We give a scratch-our-backs-and-we’ll-be-happy-to-scratch-yours DART to Taco Bell.
If you don’t have a pact with your best friend about what’ll happen to your computer when you die, then you don’t have a very good best friend. Everyone’s top concern is basically making sure nothing embarrassing will be left behind. Well, your buddy ol’ pal Google has you covered. Sort of. “Not many of us like thinking about death — especially our own,” wrote Google’s product manager, Andrew Tuerk, in a statement on the company’s blog this week. “But making plans for what happens after you’re gone is really important for the people you leave behind. So today, we’re launching a new feature that makes it easy to tell Google what you want done with your digital assets when you die or can no longer use your account.” Uh. Great? We give a stop-being-so-creepy-pretty-please-also-maybe-thank-you LAUREL to Google.
That’s all for this week, you guys! Have a safe weekend, and go Gators!
