Boo!
The next time you read the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column, it will be November!
Scary, right?
Since this is the last time we’ll be together this October, we would like to celebrate Halloween today.
How do you celebrate Halloween?
We imagine that once you’ve finished trick or treating, bobbing for apples and watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” you like to settle down and watch the Florida-Georgia game.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.
There will be plenty of time to talk about “The World’s Largest Outdoor Oh Yeah We’re Supposed to Stop Calling It That” in next week’s edition.
For now, we want to talk about Halloween costumes. What are you wearing this year?
We’ve come up with a few suggestions for the Gators to maybe get them going:
1. Brent Pease — Phil Robertson of “Duck Dynasty.”
Not only is Pease a fan of the A&E show, but Phil scored a few touchdowns during his days as the Louisiana Tech quarterback ahead of Terry Bradshaw. Maybe the success will carry over. I’m sure Brent would be willing to try anything with this offense right about now.
2. Florida’s offensive line — Ghosts
Because they are nowhere to be found! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
3. Every Gators defensive lineman — Dominique Easley
Without Easley, the rushing defense has fallen off.
If you want to be as good as Easley, you can’t just carry around the Chucky doll. YOU’VE GOT TO BE THE CHUCKY DOLL.
If you’ve got any other Gators costume ideas, tweet them at us! We probably won’t read them or anything, but it’s good to have a creative outlet for your thoughts.
This week, we’ve got two guys — Joe Morgan and Phillip Heilman — attempting to masquerade as good pickers in a showdown centered on the Texas A&M-Vanderbilt matchup in College Station.
Remember, guys, no matter how many times you knock, everybody gets the same candy.
Except for Charlie Brown. He gets a rock.
The Aggies (-18) will send the Commodores away with toothbrushes and those nasty orange marshmallow peanuts because...
Johnny Freaking Football, that’s why! Did you see the photos of those girls he was with while dressed up as Scooby Doo on Halloween night last year? I’m willing to wager nobody has ever scored on Halloween more than Manziel did that night. Also, it’s Vanderbilt. C’mon, man.
- Joe Morgan
The Commodores (+18) will arrive at Texas A&M with all tricks and no treats because...
Vanderbilt is actually dressing up like a football team this October. Too bad James Franklin will probably want to try a costume different than his Commodores polo next year. But, for now, it’s sort of fun to be a Vandy fan. Or so I would imagine.
- Phillip Heilman
Now onto the picks (and costume suggestions for our pickers)!
Maintaining his lead at 37-24-3 is alligatorSports Editor Phillip “Pendulum” Heilman, whose mood swings in the office are the stuff of legend. Remember when the season was over for the Red Sox just last week, buddy? Other baseball fans would like you to shut up. Thanks.
Tied for first is alligatorSports Staff Writer Joe “Mark Brunell” Morgan, who has had a rough go of it since the NFL season started. You deserve to relive the glory day. You read it. Day. Try to make it through the day without sobbing, OK?
Next up at 34-27-3 is alligatorSports Assistant Editor Adam “Toby Flenderson” Lichtenstein, who, like The Office actor Paul Lieberstein, is the worst person in our office. Adam, why are you the way that you are? We hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
Leading the non-alligatorSports guys at 33-28-3 is Cody “Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez” Jones, who should maybe try to walk one day in the skipper’s spikes before criticizing the poor fellow. Nah, we don’t know what we’re talking about. Take Frediot to task, Cody!
Last among the alligatorSports guys but still in the hunt at 32-29-3 is alligatorSports Staff Writer Adam “Ryan Lochte” Pincus, who wouldn’t have to do much to pull off this costume. Just learn how to swim and shave your legs, bud. Jeah.
Tied with Pincus at 32-29-3 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “Rick Scott” Thompson, who shares a pretty scary likeness to Skeletor — uh, we mean our esteemed governor. Whether Edgar is as universally disliked, we won’t say.
Capping the three-way tie at 32-29-3 is 247Sports.com’s Thomas “Chad Michael Murray” Goldkamp, who bears a striking resemblance to the tween heartthrob. Be careful trick or treating, Thomas. Once those 12-year-old girls get a look at you, they’ll forget all about the candy corn and Snickers bars.
And in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 29-32-3 is InsideTheGators.com’s Bryan “Dusty Rhodes” Holt, who has fallen on some “Hard times, deddy!” both in the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column and as a Buccaneers fan. Maybe you’ll finally get some creamsicle on Halloween, bud!
Follow alligatorSports on Twitter @alligatorSports.
Johnny Manziel scrambles during the third quarter of Texas A&M’s 52-31 victory against Rice on Aug. 31, 2013 in College Station, Texas.
