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Tuesday, November 26, 2024

This long, hot and boring summer is finally coming to a close, and after all the dreadfully boring news that came out in the past few months, we think it should have come a lot sooner.

We had the BP oil spill, with scores of stories about “Top Kill” underwater currents bringing oil to Florida shores – if the topic was a horse, we’d shoot it. We had a new Supreme Court nominee, coupled with a confirmation process as predictable as the “Twilight” plot. And who could forget the Lindsay Lohan trial? Nothing says “slow news season” like giving her hours of screen time on everything from TMZ to the evening news.

It could have been worse, though. We could have had a repeat of last summer’s painfully-overdrawn coverage of Michael Jackson’s death. Although we can’t think of another pop star who could draw that much unwarranted attention. Maybe Madonna? Or Bono? Who cares, anyway?

We just hope none of these stories carry into the fall. It might be wishful thinking for the oil spill, but we could do without hearing another word about Lindsay Lohan for the rest of our lives. What has she ever done except star in needless remakes of campy Disney films? Oh yeah, she helped cap off Michael Keaton’s career of classic ‘80s movies with an embarrassingly bad summer movie about a Volkswagen.

But now isn’t the time to focus on the past. After summer exams we get a couple well-deserved weeks of relaxation before college football is back in full swing. At least by then there will be something a little more worthwhile on TV than what we’ve had to deal with for the past few months.

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