We did it!
We killed one of our own disabled satellites. Any country can build a satellite and have it operate correctly, but only the U-S of A can knock one out of the sky. Ha-ha!
That little prodigal space machine got what was coming to it.
It's real simple: When a spy satellite becomes a bomb, destroy it with a missile.
The mission may have cost something like $60 million, but I was just happy to see such a spectacle in my lifetime. Who knows how many years until the next simultaneous lunar eclipse and satellite takedown?
But aside from my historical reasons, apparently the debris from the school-bus-sized satellite called USA-193 would have been dangerous if it entered the atmosphere intact.
It was carrying more than one half ton of hydrazine fuel, and when life gives you hydrazine, you can really only make hydrazine-ade, which is toxic - unless you happen to be a rocket, in which case it's real tasty.
Our government said the shootdown was not out of concern that parts of the spacecraft might survive and reveal secrets. Of course, the conspiracy theorist in me kicked in when I heard this, and I assumed the satellite had a ton of awesome secrets.
But then I realized there was no harm in a country finding part of our malfunctioning technology. Country that doesn't like America: please take this as a gift, copy its "secrets" and give it to all your friends.
When our government announced the interception plans, China and Russia started complaining, saying we were just showing off our military might and thus threatening security in space. They even proposed a new pact banning space weapons last week.
China's one to talk - they launched an anti-satellite missile last year, the first time any nation had blasted an object in space in the 22 years since the U.S. last conducted such a test. Oh, China…
Other countries should be thanking us. It was a spy satellite, after all. Who do you think we were spying on?
Besides that, we even offered to pick up the bill if any debris landed in another nation's backyard. (Note: front yard not covered; offer void where prohibited; also, you take traveler's checks, right?)
No other country would have done such a thing. For example, Russia always goes to the bathroom right before the bill comes. Oh, Russia…
But space travel actually owes its success to international conflict. The Saturn V, the American rocket that took men to the moon, came from the same guy who developed the first successful, long-range ballistic missile.
In America's recent history, the need to search and the need to destroy address the same issue: the need to retain superiority over other countries.
And as much as implements of war are part of any space program's history, so, too, is the occasional mishap.
See, only a few hours after USA-193 reached space in December 2006, ground controllers lost the ability to, well, control the satellite and were never able to regain communication. A spy satellite for the Department of Defense's National Reconnaissance Office going deaf… I believe the technical term is "whoopsie." Oh, DOD…
Of course, some may say that the U.S. could just build the satellites correctly from the start. And I agree, even though this would be boring.
Like I always say, "If it ain't broke, don't shoot it out of the sky with an anti-ballistic missile."
Vincent Massaro is a journalism senior. His column appears on Mondays.
