For me, there's no better way to spend those long, summer afternoons than with a matinee. Especially when mom's paying.
When I was filling out a Mother's Day card a few weeks ago, I realized that some of the best moments I've shared with my mother have been in empty movie theaters on summer afternoons. Since I was little, my mom would lure me out of the house to see a movie - a subtle tactic to get to know me better.
I wasn't the teenager who revealed his emotions in Sharpie ink on his forearm, so these cinema outings were, for her, a good way to make sure her son wasn't a psychopath.
It was a challenge. One week I'd want to see "Pokemon: The Movie," and the next I'd be in a "Moulin Rouge" mood. It's not easy finding a pattern between two movies that have nothing in common besides colorful visuals and killer soundtracks.
But mom was always sweet about giving in to the shallow interests of a teenager. Not many mothers could sit through three hours of subtitles during "Godzilla 2000," which turned out to have nothing to do with the awesome 1998 "Godzilla" with Matthew Broderick. Not many mothers would sit through that "Godzilla," either.
What began as a bonding moment between mother and son transformed into an experiment of Oedipal tensions whenever sexual scenes would appear on screen. I'd mutter something like, "Here we go" or "Really?" as if I was as morally outraged by Kate Winslet's breasts as I assumed my mother was. In reality, our thoughts were more like:
Me: "Boobs!"
Mom: "He's probably thinking, 'Boobs!'"
And while I predicted the awkwardness of movies like "Charlie's Angels," other times it snuck up on me. "Pleasantville" wasn't marketed as a movie featuring a housewife pleasuring herself in a bathtub, but bam - there it is, projected on a 30-foot screen, while my mother offered me a handful of Buncha Crunch.
But despite it all, I cherish those moments. My mother and I may have been the only two people who saw "K-PAX."
I doubt even Kevin Spacey took his mother to see that.
So this summer, when you're seeing "Harry Potter and the Books People Replaced with Twilight" or "Transformers: Toys Blow Up More Stuff" consider taking mom along.
Otherwise you might have to actually have a conversation or something.
