Usually during this time of year, we’re talking about Florida in the SEC Championship game.
Obviously, that’s not the case this season as the Gators will be watching it from the comfort of their very own living rooms.
But another school in Florida is playing this weekend — just not for a conference championship.
(Well, there is another Florida team playing for a conference championship, but we figured you didn’t want to hear about THEM.)
USF will take on Connecticut on Saturday to try and prevent the Huskies from winning the Big East.
We left it to alligatorSports columnists Kyle Maistri and Anthony Chiang to debate the game.
UCONN (+1.5) will become Big East champions because…
UConn is twice as good as Chiang’s boy-hood team.
I’m sure Anthony thinks highly of South Florida after the Bulls walked into Coral Gables, beat his ‘Canes and got Randy Shannon canned.
But let’s be honest. Beating UM doesn’t mean as much as it used to.
South Florida lost to Florida, for crying out loud. And we all know how hard it is to do that these days.
UConn will prove to be the best team in the nation’s worst conference by the end of the weekend.
— Kyle Maistri
The Bulls (-1.5) will continue their stampede because…
Kyle, how are you going to write a feature on the possibility of USF becoming one of Florida’s elite college football programs and then pick them to lose to Connecticut? Stick to your guns.
Excuse Kyle’s abrupt switch in positions. Coming off a win against the Hurricanes, the Bulls will end the Huskies’ Big East title hopes.
— ANTHONY CHIANG
(Editor’s note: Anthony was incapable of writing more than two sentences because both his hands were wrapped around a life-sized Dwyane Wade body pillow Thursday night.)
Now on to the picks!
In first and tantalizingly close to a picks column title at 72-55 is Gatorbait.net’s Keith “It’s the worst movie ever made. Even with tons of nudity, it’s still unwatchable” Niebuhr, who apparently is not a fan of the 1979 blockbuster “Caligula.”
Desperately trying to close the gap in our final week at 67-60 is the Miami Herald’s Joe “Ah, screw it” Goodman, who again couldn’t be bothered to get his picks in because he covered LeBron’s return to Cleveland last night. Instead, we assigned Bron’s first 10 shots to our 10 games and gave Joe the favorite when James scored and the underdog when he missed. You love LeBron more than us? We let him pick for you.
In third, at 66-61, is the Alligator’s Kyle “When I win, Buddha Belly wins” Maistri, who’s trying to spend his recent poker windfall on truckloads of cheeseburger fried rice.
Next, with a 64-63 mark is alligatorSports assistant editor Tyler “The owl sees at night” Jett, who surprised the rest of the staff with his in-depth knowledge of Florida Atlantic football. Ah, who could forget Jared Allen’s winning touchdown pass against Middle Tennessee State?
In fifth at 62-65 is alligatorSports editor Anthony “Seriously, what if he gets hurt?” Chiang, who was concerned LeBron James could be murdered in Cleveland on Thursday. Come on, Chiang. The bad guy never dies this early.
Tied with Anthony is FightinGators.com’s Cody “I know nothing about soccer except that it’s unwatchable” Jones, who is relieved the U.S. won’t host the 2022 World Cup. Cody will be dragging his bore children to see Chipper Jones manage the Braves in 12 years, and he does NOT need you soccer fans getting in the way.
Tied for last with a record of 61-66 is The Gainesville Sun’s Edward “I <3 Driskel” Aschoff, who is leading the charge for everybody’s favorite future Gators quarterback, Jeff Driskel. At this point, we wouldn’t be surprised to see Edward ink his left butt cheek with a tattoo of Driskel’s face.
In dead-ass last place (and a victim of the alphabet) with a piss-poor record of 61-66 is the Alligator’s Mike “I saw a lot of famous asses this year” McCall, who spent his summer covering the Seattle Mariners and sneaking locker room photos with his cell phone. If you want to see Ichiro Suzuki’s chop stick, check out McCallinItLikeIPeepIt.com.
