I would like to thank the Alligator for its constant liberal bias. Being an avid supporter of infanticide and having a general distaste for racial equality or national security, I am, of course, a big-time Obama supporter.
His extremist liberal views are exactly what this country needs, and I applaud the Alligator for providing the UF campus with unabashedly biased news stories and political cartoons.
Please be aware, however, that there are still Republicans on this campus. These individuals generally prefer that big-jawed old guy and his lipstick-wearing running mate.
They base this support on things like character, voting record and the lessons of history. They claim their presidential candidate's voting record exemplifies truly moderate values and that his time in the Senate was often spent working with members of a differing political party. For these politically psychotic individuals, I must adopt Michelle Obama's "separationist" stance.
You, dear Alligator, must not allow even a drop of journalistic integrity to seep into your veins. You have a done a fine job of this thus far.
Continue your mission of subtle brainwashing, and perhaps UF will fully evolve into the Jon Stewart-worshipping, Obama-adulating, Alligator-believing organism of pseudo-socialism we all know it can be.
