We here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column are extraordinarily excited for this weekend. For the Georgia Southern-Florida game, you ask? Of course not. The second installment of the ‘Hunger Games’ series, “Catching Fire” premiered last night at midnight! If that doesn’t get your heart pumping, then we don’t know what’s wrong with you. Just watch the trailer, for crying out loud!
If you have been living under a rock and don’t already know the basic plot of the series, it’s basically this: In a dystopian future, children from regions that rebelled against the government are forced to fight to the death for the enjoyment of the ruling class. Messed up, right? Well, the main protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, competes in one of those games and (Spoiler alert!) wins. Now, the government is all mad at her for surviving, and that’s where this movie picks up.
When you think about it, the Southeastern Conference is a lot like The Hunger Games. Fourteen teams enter the season, all with an equal (Ha!) shot at a conference title. But by December, those 14 teams have been whittled down to two, and those lucky squads engage in a brutal, no-holds-barred fight to the death. The winner likely destined for the national title game, the loser — well, just ask Georgia how that worked for them.
As we wind down this season, only 13 games separate first and last place in the picks column. It’s a fight to the death up in here! May the spreads be ever in your favor.
This week, we have Joe Morgan and Adam Lichtenstein as tributes fighting over the Arizona State-UCLA matchup this weekend.
Arizona State (-3) will Katniss the Everdeen out of UCLA because...
Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t have time to write this. I’m going to see the movie.
- Joe Morgan
The Bruins (+3) will emerge from the arena victorious because...
UCLA has one of the best offenses in the nation. The Bruins come into this weekend averaging 37 points per game. The Sun Devils can spend all the time they want hiding in trees like Katniss, but they have to come down and fight at some point. When they do, UCLA will make quick work of them.
-Adam Lichtenstein
Now onto the picks!
New to first place at 59-32-5 is alligatorSports Assistant Editor Adam “The Glaze King” Lichtenstein, who loudly proclaimed that moniker as his official nickname this week. We don’t know if he’s talking about doughnuts or …
Sitting in second at 56-35-5 is alligatorSports Staff Writer Joe “pro-mode” Morgan, who refuses to play Madden on any level higher than pro. What are you? A 12-year-old?
Dropping a spot to third at 53-38-5 is alligatorSports Editor Phillip “Cougar Hunter” Heilman, who recently ran into an older woman who offered to “teach him a few things.” We’d be lying if we didn’t inform you that Phillip considered the sensual proposal.
Soaring up to fourth at 50-41-5 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Edgar “Yearning for yesterday” Thompson, who uttered the phrase, “It’s been 20 years, but I still think about it every day,” this week. Maybe if you stepped up your sweater game, Edgar, you wouldn’t have to think about it.
Leading off a three-way tie for fifth at 48-43-5 is alligatorSports Staff Writer Adam “Nose Faucet” Pincus, who blows his nose more than any person in recorded human history. But we’re not dogging him for his allergies. We just wish he’d wash his snot-covered hands every once in a while.
Also tied for fifth is FightinGators.com’s Cody “I have a new best friend” Jones, who is sporting a nice new Beard during No-Shave November. We can’t really explain this joke to outside world, so we’re just going to take this space to say, “THANK GOD THIS INSULT ISN’T ABOUT BASEBALL.”
Capping the three-way tie is InsideTheGators.com’s Bryan “Saddest Assignment Ever” Holt, who actually wrote a post this week titled, “Five keys to victory for Florida against Georgia Southern.” Which had fewer hits this calendar year: that story or B.J. Upton? Toss up.
And in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 46-45-5 is 247Sports.com’s Thomas “Bueller? Bueller?” Goldkamp, who decided to cut class on Wednesday while the rest of us were enlightened by Professor Durkin. Whether or not he crashed an expensive sports car, we don’t know.
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UCLA quarterback Brett Hundley passes during the first half of a 37-10 win against California in Pasadena, Calif., on Oct. 12, 2013.
