I understand this will come as a shock to many, but the evidence is overwhelmingly clear. Of all of the study spaces on campus where Gators can plant themselves to work on homework the Reitz Union is the most legitimate.
I will first dismantle the notion that the other libraries or study spaces, whatever one may care to call them, are worthy of your time compared to the ultimate experience of studying in the Reitz, the preeminent study space.
Let’s start with Marston Science Library. The average naive STEM freshman believes Marston is the ideal study space, which would allow them to blast through hours of studying chemistry on the average Tuesday evening. It’s a shame the only unique perk is the noise level decreases as the height above ground increases because that is also a notable feature of the Reitz Union. Have you ever been to the Reitz third floor? It is dead silent. Marston is a place where students go to feel better about their inability to study. Oh, you have a calculus exam worth 30 percent of your grade tomorrow, and you don’t know the difference between an integral and a derivative? No bro, that’s cool, just go ahead and waste another three hours with your “study group” talking about how cool that last episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” podcast was. I’m sure the calculus will work itself out.
Next, we have Library West: the rival of Marston, and the habitat of students posturing as intellectuals. Library West has the benefit of a beautiful lawn and a breathtaking silhouette. Staring at Library West from the foot of the Plaza of the Americas is an experience every student attending this university should have. When you look at the library, you feel connected with all of the knowledge that has been and will be developed here on campus. It’s wonderful. However, the sight of Library West is a curse. The inside is a desolate scattering of the hopes of desperate students. The main appeal of Library West is that it also offers the quieter-with-height system. There’s also a certain “feeling” associated with the library. This feeling attracts kids with MacBooks, eager to appear as if they are “getting that bread.” Library West is the perfect location for that engineering sophomore who doesn’t feel like going to Midtown on Friday night but who doesn’t want to admit it. The solution? They can go to Library West with some homework (which they probably won’t work on much) and post to their Snapchat about how “the grind never stops.”
I have discussed how both of the often celebrated libraries are little more than fronts for procrastination and dangerous rationalization of poor behavior. I have not yet explained how the Reitz is the answer to all of the pitfalls of the libraries on campus. Library West and Marston are sneakily convincing their patrons that the environment they provide is one of learning, when in reality they’re just outlets to socialize. The Reitz doesn’t hide behind the name of a library because it is so much more than this pretense. The Reitz is a social space that is outfitted with the fruits of capitalism in the form of the food court and a bowling alley. It is an educational space too, showcasing the triumphs of student leadership with the Department of Student Activities and Involvement, meeting rooms and career development with the Career Connections Center.
Still, the Reitz provides more value as a library than anywhere else. You can buy books at the bookstore, while at Marston and Library West, you have to return all the books you borrow, which you probably won’t even look at anyway. There is also the claim that Reitz isn’t a real library because there is no actual library. When you hear this, don’t respond with words. Instead, walk with whoever claimed it is not straight to the bookstore on the ground floor and perform a well-practiced evil laugh. How many books have you gotten in the Reitz Union compared to the amount you have checked out of the library? The answer will show you that the Reitz truly is the most legitimate library on campus.
Kyle Cunningham is a UF English freshman. His column appears on Mondays.
