It's funny how you're never really "done" with people in college.
Remember that loud mouth from your English discussion section freshman year? Now, he's dating your ex. And serving you a pita.
This small-world phenomenon has given me a reason to vote in student government elections next week. Benjamin Dictor, the Progress Party's presidential candidate, once called me a "scum bag." And now, he's going to pay.
Two years ago, I posted a blog on Facebook concerning controversies plaguing a student organization I was in. At the time, my account's privacy settings were wide-open, leading to a frenzy of comments on the post.
Dictor, an unknown to me and to the organization, came across the post and jumped in on the action. In addition to "scum bag," he said I was "worthless," I totally lacked "value and decency" and my legacy will be "pathetic and minuscule."
I got over it. Not only have I heard much worse, the guy was right on the money. In fact, I was excited to hear that I'll have any legacy whatsoever.
Instead, I simply wondered: "Who the hell is Ben Dictor?"
Two years later, he's running for SG President. And now, as an apolitical student who doesn't care if student government sends private e-mails to Santa Claus about hand scanners at homeless shelters, I'm stoked to have a legitimate reason to vote: revenge!
What if you found out that guy who gave you the finger after cutting you off on I-75 is now running for president? Hallelujah! You'd be a purple-thumbed Iraqi, exercising your democratic duty with the vengefulness of Jack Bauer.
A vote is a dish best served cold.
That's what's great about democracy. You can vote on whatever arbitrary grounds you want: tie color, FCAT score, rate of blinks per minute.
To give him credit, Dictor is one of the smartest, most passionate and most capable candidates this university has ever seen. I just don't like him because he called me a "scum bag." It's a silly, absurd and immature reason to vote in what is routinely a silly, absurd and immature election.
So when you cast your vote on Feb. 24 and 25, do so in shallow waters. And candidates: if you want to reduce voter apathy, insults go a long way.
It worked for a scum bag like me.
Erik Voss is an Avenue writer.
