The teaser trailer for the movie “After” caught my eye but not for the right reasons.
According to the trailer, “after your first, life will never be the same,” which would be true if it was referring to your first dog, first child or some other life-altering event. But no, it’s talking about losing your virginity.
The trailer paints the picture of a young girl whose existence changes forever after falling in love with some stereotypical bad boy. Through many context clues in the short two-minute trailer, we can assume the main character is a virgin and nothing is the same for her after having sex. Because the movie isn’t out yet, I won’t specifically call it out, but the theme behind this trailer is one we should not endorse.
The idea that virginity is a defining characteristic is harmful both to people who choose to have sex and those who choose to wait. This may be a shocker, but there is so much more to a person than his or her virginity status. Creating such a monumental energy around losing one’s virginity gives young minds the wrong impression.
Under the current idea, if someone loses his or her virginity, they change into a different person. If someone doesn’t want to lose it, they are seen as prudish and simple-minded. Virginity is a way for people to wrongly categorize others into two groups: virgin and non-virgin. And for such a personal choice, the decision seems to be highly influenced by outsiders’ perceptions.
Even the phrase “losing your virginity” implies that once you do the deed, you’ve lost something. This simply is not the case. The present language around virginity brainwashes people into the misconception that virginity signifies something exceedingly crucial about a person. It is branded into a person’s identity, and once they lose it, they’ll never get that defining feature back.
Perhaps it might be more meaningful to teach the youth that whether or not they choose to keep their virginity doesn’t really matter. Why? Because virginity should have less to do with others’ insight and more to do with an individual’s choice.
Of course, this lesson will be hard to teach with the media’s constant depiction of virgins versus non-virgins. It would be helpful to see language in movies and television shows that doesn’t treat virgins as if they are fragile, helpless beings and also doesn’t portray non-virgins as unbreakable heroes who look down on everyone else who hasn’t “got some.”
Addressing this virginity stigma may be one place to start and respecting someone’s decision to keep his or her virginity or not can help us move away from virginity glorification.
Jackie DeFreitas is a UF journalism junior. Her column appears on Fridays.
