First, we will take issue with something very dear to UF students: football tickets.
We are throwing an even-though-the-Gator-Nation-is-everywhere-UF-is-not-one-of-the-U.S.'-outlying-islands DART to Ticketmaster for forgetting what country we live in.
Sometimes, oh wise master of ticketing, things actually are as simple as they appear. Turns out, UF is named after one of the 50 United States of America. Despite UF's painfully obvious location, the U.S. was not listed in the drop-down menu of nations that potential ticket buyers were required to choose from. We wouldn't call that a small glitch.
There was some good to come from the Ticketmaster system, though. We would like to give the University Athletic Association a ticket-sales-should-provide-tickets-not-entrepreneurial-opportunities LAUREL for selling Southeastern Conference Championship tickets as vouchers. Selling a ticket for a game you can't attend is one thing; buying two tickets with all intentions of immediately scalping them is greedy and selfish. The voucher system is the right way to go when it comes to selling tickets for big games, and we're glad the UAA got that one right.
Now we would like to send a did-you-even-try-the-knob-first? DART to the criminals who keep kicking people's doors down so they can burglarize them. Isn't it bad enough that you're about to steal someone's iPod, laptop and jewelry? Do you really have to annihilate their front doors, too? Obviously, we don't think you should be stealing from anyone in the first place, but don't beat down doors to pour salt in your victims' wounds.
To close this week's edition, we've got another double-edged D&L sword for Student Senate.
First, we're going to give Senate a please-remind-us-who-you-think-you're-working-for DART for voting down a piece of legislation that would have prevented hand scanners from becoming the sole method of entry at some UF facilities and events. Eighty-four percent of students voted against hand scanners in the fall election. The least you could've done would be to provide them another option.
Second, we are going to give our Senate buddies a just-when-we-thought-you-couldn't-get-any-dumber-you-go-and-do-something-like-this-and-kinda-redeem-yourselves LAUREL for voting down a separate piece of legislation that would have stripped senators of their ability to call special meetings.
Senators cannot lose this right. It allows them to further discuss issues they find important, which, in turn furthers the democratic process. After the last couple months Senate has had, you guys made a smart choice in protecting the potential interests of the little guy.
That's all for now. Have a safe weekend, and go Gators.
