Last week, a pretentious dude refused to learn about consent, thus teaching us all why consent is important.
University of Warwick student George Lawlor got a Facebook invitation to an event about consent — "I Heart Consent Training Sessions," specifically — and, instead of checking "yes" and never going like a normal person, he chose to make the event all about himself.
More accurately, he took the occasion to tell the Internet how upset he was that he was invited to learn about consent because he is a "nice guy." A picture posted along with the article even showed Lawlor holding a sign reading "This is not what a rapist looks like."
Like all "nice guys," he would never assault someone because he knows the difference between "no" and "yes." He went so far as to say he loves consent.
Lawlor actually said the event facilitators should do something other than accuse people of "being vile rapists-in-waiting," but did his Facebook event invitation come with the tagline, "We think you’re going to assault someone, come learn how not to"?
Lawlor didn’t say who invited him to the event, but because it’s a Facebook event, it’s fairly safe to say he wasn’t the only invitee. Most likely, an event facilitator or attendee checked off his or her entire friend list for "invite."
Most likely, no one sat at a computer and thought, "George Lawlor seems like the type to assault people," and singled him out for an invite.
We also don’t know what the event was focused on. George didn’t go into detail about what the event would cover. He did suggest, however, that the event creators should do something more useful than hold a training session like this.
Lawlor said event attendees "could be making a difference by actually going out and campaigning, volunteering and caring for other people." This training session could very well have been a way to teach other students what messages to use when campaigning or how to be empathetic when caring for survivors.
The event could also have been a forum to learn more about consent. After all, just because you know about a topic that doesn’t mean you are done learning.
Lawlor also made an effort to point out how hurt he was by the invite. He was "overcome by anger." It was "a massive, painful, bitchy slap in the face," the "biggest insult I’ve received in a good few years." Never once did he actually advocate for sexual assault awareness or consider the point of view of a sexual assault survivor. It’s doubtful Lawlor even considered rape may hurt — emotionally and physically — a good deal more than a Facebook invitation.
There’s a certain part that bothers me about the article. Lawlor went on and on about how he loves consent, how he has a deep understanding of it, but then said "the only people who’ll turn up will be people who (surprise, surprise) already know when it’s okay to shag someone."
So why was he so offended by the invitation? He identified the people who will go as not rapists — they’re advocates. If he understands consent as well as he claims, he should be among these advocates and try to seek a deeper understanding of sexual assault and rape culture.
Which begs the question: Why did he take such offense to the invitation? Why did it hit so close to home?
It may be because, for all intents and purposes, George Lawlor is what a rapist looks like.
Because, truth be told, sexual assault can be committed by anyone. Sexual assault is committed regardless of race, class, sexual orientation, gender, hair color, education level, location or upbringing.
Perpetrators and survivors look different. We do know some statistics, though.
For example, 52 percent of perpetrators are white — like George Lawlor. Eighty-two percent of rapes were committed by someone the survivor knew — George Lawlor certainly has friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances. Rapists don’t look a certain way, as Lawlor seems to think they do.
The point of this article is not to paint this student as a perpetrator. But Lawlor is something just as bad — a rape apologist.
He refuses to gain a deeper understanding of consent and help end rape culture, and he doesn’t even think we should teach people such a "simple" concept anyway.
But if consent really is as simple as Lawlor made it out to be, if, as he suggested, everybody understands it, why does sexual assault still happen?
Robyn Smith is a journalism senior. Her column appears on Fridays.
