I have a question for anyone who has ever watched television: What the hell is wrong with us?
Our waning collective intelligence has yielded a drop in quality TV programming as steep as the stock market's Black Tuesday collapse.
Because of this, the most important show on television, whether you like it or not, is "South Park." Before you roll your eyes clean out of their sockets, hear me out.
Creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have never shied away from a topic. They tackle the most pressing political and social issues with a pissed-off vigor that is anything but apathetic. They punch viewers in the face with obvious insensitivities, but the episodes are never restricted to the shock value. That shock value is there for a reason.
In addition to the idiosyncrasies of everyday American life, the show tackles racism, religion and politics.
When "South Park" first aired, Parker and Stone were at the helm of a program punctuated by bleeped-out words and ridiculous plots. That was 12 years ago.
Since then, the show has evolved. It still has its haters, but people who attribute their distaste to the show's content haven't seen an episode in a while or simply take themselves too seriously.
In 2004, the Colorado-based cartoon explained presidential elections better than any political analyst ever could. In the episode titled "Douche and Turd," the boys offer their suggestions for a new elementary school mascot. Kyle recommends they name themselves the South Park Giant Douches, and Cartman vies for the Turd Sandwiches.
OK, the toilet humor is ever-present, but there's a reason behind it once again.
The school's new mascot is being selected through a student-body vote, and Kyle and Cartman lobby fellow students with hope their respective candidate comes out on top. Meanwhile, their buddy Stan says he doesn't see the point in voting for a giant douche or a turd sandwich, which is a perfectly honest response.
This episode aired eight days before the 2004 presidential election. At the time, I could not have cared less about either of the candidates. After talking with some of my friends, I caught the apathy bug and I didn't vote. A brilliant decision on my part.
At the end of the episode, a member of PETA explains to Stan that he should vote anyway because elections always come down to a douche and a turd, because they're the "only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics."
Parker and Stone use about 22 minutes to make sense of scenarios that Hannity and Colmes spend years yelling about. I didn't listen to them then, but the show has started to make more sense.
I don't advocate basing your life choices on those made by a foursome of fourth-graders, but I insist that these cartoons speak more truth than the sum of the staffs of MSNBC and FOX News.
If you've inundated yourself with presidential coverage and America's foreign policy blunders, you're probably a little high-strung and in need of a good laugh.
Watch some "South Park." It's a nice break from Rush Limbaugh's "I-hope-he-fails" ranting and the liberal bastards' 'round-the-clock, on-Obama's-nuts coverage.
Adam Wynn is a journalism senior. His column appears on Fridays.
