Forget Mary Lou Retton. We have found our classiest Olympian yet, snowboarder Scotty Lago, who was caught putting his bronze medal in the wrong place.
Apparently, after winning bronze in the men's halfpipe competition, Lago went out for a night on the town.
Pictures later surfaced of Lago with the medal around his waist and some chick cleaning it...orally.
I don't really blame anyone here. It doesn't matter what kind of Ed Hardy shirt you're wearing to the club that night. When a dude walks in with an Olympic medal around his neck, or in this case, his waist, he's going to get the most attention.
Some guys just take their victory laps another way.
I wonder if that will get on a Wheaties box.
In slightly less tragic, slightly more funny news, we have Kevin Smith, who last week was kicked off a plane because of his weight.
That's not the funny part.
Some dumbass reporters asked him if he was going to channel his anguish from the incident into another movie.
I mean, I wouldn't put it past him. "Clerks" was the best screen acting about nothing that I've seen since "Seinfeld."
But really, it was a 10-minute episode in his life, apparently worth taking the time to compose 50 tweets about. It's not worth another film.
Now, I know I usually make light of a lot of situations, but this next guy really pissed me off.
I'm talking about Sean Penn, who apparently lost his cool since playing Jeff Spicoli in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."
Penn is facing two misdemeanor charges, if convicted, after beating the crap out of an unnamed photographer back in October.
Ironically enough, the report lists video evidence that can be used against Penn. Well duh, he took out the guy with the friggin' camera.
As he said: "People on ‘ludes should not drive"...or, apparently, be anywhere near the paparazzi.
