For the Lolz is a humor blog. It's a sarcastic take on the world around us. Please read the posts in this section with a light heart and eager smile. All the examples below are ACTUALLY from gainesville.craigslist.org, though.
Every once in a while it's important to get in touch with your community. While there are several productive ways of going about this, I prefer the highly cultured pages of Craigslist.
Over the past few days, Craigslist has taught me a lot about the...special... community that is Gainesville. As an unselfish individual, it is my duty to share this information with everyone else so that they too can develop a deep connection with the locals. Without further ado, here are the 10 best ads on Craigslist Gainesville.
10. "Ass" — missed connections
Tired of not being objectified by men? This might be the guy for you.
9. "Guy at your service" — miscellaneous romance
Ladies, you might want to seriously consider this guy. He's offering free massages and will do the dishes. Sounds like the perfect man to me.
8. "40+ Harley Riders" — activity partners
It is so hard to find good riders these days, especially in person. Luckily, Craigslist is exclusively full of wonderful people!
7. "I want a man" — women seeking men
This woman is clearly confused. First of all, you ARE supposed to capitalize the first letter of each sentence. Secondly, everyone knows that Gingers aren't men.
6. "Work out group" — activity partners
"Please no creepers apply," is code for, "If you don't think you're a creeper, then please apply," right?
5. "Metal detector buddy" — activity partners
Warning: This guy will always claim that his metal detector found it first.
Double Warning: You will not find anything interesting while metal detecting in Gainesville.
4. "Let's Start a Fiber Guild" — activity partners
Have you ever wondered what the people that live between Gainesville and wherever you were driving do all day? Well, now you know.
3. "The Next American Civil War" — rants and raves
Stick with me for a second as I make a serious point. Several people have had complaints about the actions that President Obama has taken regarding gun control. As a part of their argument, they often say that if the government puts restrictions on weapons, then we the people will lose the ability to ever violently revolt against the government. I just want to point out that whether or not a gun can hold 10 or more bullets will not make a difference in a potential revolution. The government has heat-seeking missiles attached to robotic planes. There's just not much a gun can do about that.
Back to the lolz.
2. "you were checking out publics n.main street fri night about 8pm" — missed connections
"Wow Sean, you must be a really good author if you wrote all of this and an 800 page novel," thought no one that will ever read this insanely creepy ad. Burned. Think twice before you misspell "Publix" next time.
1. "Trader Joe's" — missed connection
You might need a second to wipe your tears after reading that. So, take that time now. If you're like me, you're probably still bawling because that ad is the most beautiful and most pathetic thing I have ever read. If his missed connection was close enough that she (I'm assuming it's a girl, because if it was a guy, the ad would surely note their matching beards) could accurately measure his beard, how could he not have spoken to her. He's certain that he loves her, yet also certain that it's a better idea to post on Craigslist and hope that she sees it than to just engage her in conversation.
You might be inclined to think that the people that post on Craigslist Gainesville are lonely. Sure, nobody wants to be friends with them on Facebook, and they all seem really desperate to meet people. However, the truth is that they aren't lonely because they'll always have each other.
Oh wait, that's Reddit where you can comment on posts. Never mind they're definitely really lonely.
