This week, I tried something a little different. I’ve always been curious about what makes some people likable and others…well, not so likable. So I created a short survey and spammed it all over Facebook. My apologies.
The respondents were asked the following questions:
1. Please rank the following characteristics according to how much they contribute to an individual’s likability. 1 being the most significant contributor and 5 being the least significant contributor.
2. Now imagine someone you know who’s extremely likable. Which one of these characteristics contributes MOST to their likability?
The answer choices for both questions were: empathy, honesty, intelligence, modesty and positivity. These are the more common traits of likable people, according to a quick Google search. I received 66 responses within the 48 hour period the survey was open, and the results had some interesting twists.
In the first question, the results show that most people ranked the characteristics in the following order: honesty, positivity, intelligence, empathy and modesty. Not a single person listed honesty as number five. Glad to know we live in such an honesty-driven society.
However, when people were asked to think of a specific person in the second question, an overwhelming majority chose POSITIVITY. Honesty came in second but wasn’t nearly as popular as positivity. (Intelligence had the least number of votes, in case you were curious. A little depressing, no?)
Here are the conclusions I drew from these results: obviously, the top two traits people find to be likable are honesty and positivity. The disparity in the answers from the first question and second question may have to do with the fact that positivity, as a characteristic, is a lot more noticeable than honesty. Honesty is more of a characteristic that is evident over a long period of time – after you really get to know someone on a personal level. On the other hand, it’s immediately apparent whether someone has a positive attitude or not.
So the bottom line is this: if you want to be liked, don’t be a “Negative Nancy.” This doesn’t mean to be stupidly naive and always act like there’s not a wrong in the world. It means to have an optimistic outlook on life and to see the good, rather than the bad, in other people as well. Think about it: who likes being around someone who complains, moans and always has something negative to say about others? In addition, be honest. Not brutally, unnecessarily honest. Just honest. There are always repercussions for being a dishonest individual, so be truthful and minimize the hurt you could cause other people.
Keep in mind this survey isn’t scientific. At all. It’s something I threw together to gather a general consensus, and the results will vary greatly depending on the demographics. The purpose of this post is also not to force you to change your personality. It’s a gentle reminder, a friendly push, toward a healthier mindset that will ultimately make you more likable.
