There’s just something about events that are closed to the media that intrigue us.
Why aren’t we allowed in? What are we missing out on? Last week, the House Democrats hosted its annual retreat. Awesome people like President Barack Obama and Bill Clinton gave inspirational speeches. So did Stephen Colbert.
He gave a speech and was interviewed by Nancy Pelosi, which would sound like a pretty awkward thing if it had happened at any other venue.
“We may have disagreed in the past, and today we will disagree in the future,” Colbert said, according to a Democratic aide who supplied a readout of his visit to Politico.
“Not sure if American people care either way, Congress less popular than colonoscopies … but just edging out our meth labs and gonorrhea,” he said. “Ironically, the last things we make in the United States.”
Despite his failed attempts to run for the U.S. Senate, we would really appreciate it if Colbert would keep trying. If there’s any comedian or pundit who should represent the American people legally, it’s Colbert. He fools politicians on a daily basis on his Comedy Central show, so he could do that as a political position, and we would fully support it. How does he feel about women? Because women are somehow a hot-button political issue in this country, even though we are just people.
“Some of my best friends are women,” he said at the retreat. “I spent nine months in one.”
“The event closed with Colbert and Rep. Joe Crowley, D-N.Y., singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ together,” according to an article on The Washington Post’s website.
What more could you want in a candidate? His persona, who hosts his late night show, and his real personality present fans and constituents with the best of both worlds: He’s a little bit conservative, and he’s a little bit rock ‘n’ liberal. Colbert could represent every extreme of America if we let him — if the American public was only dumb enough to let it happen. If there’s one state that we had to convince to do something, it might be pretty easy to sway South Carolina. Let’s face it, it’s no Northeast.
“Colbert actually has a non-farcical connection to the House Democratic caucus — his sister, Elizabeth Colbert-Busch, is running in a special election for South Carolina’s 1st District,” according to Politico. “But as a Democrat, she faces an uphill battle in this Republican-tilted territory. But her brother was confident, telling House Democrats Friday, ‘She’s going to win.’” Maybe Sister Colbert would be just as good of an option as Brother Colbert sounds.
“As a broadcast journalist I am obligated to maintain pure objectivity,” Colbert said about his sister during an episode of “The Colbert Report” last week, before the House Democrat retreat, according to the Christian Science Monitor. “It doesn’t matter that my sister is intelligent, hardworking, compassionate and dedicated to the people of South Carolina. I will not be mentioning any of that on my show.”
Do the right thing for once, South Carolina. Now’s your chance. Don’t mess it up.
