As if Gainesville didn’t have enough news to write about with its international coverage of the gem of Christianity’s planned burning of the Muslim holy book, our football team pops out to play.
And, no, we’re not talking about the ugly win Saturday. We’re talking about, um, bigger things.
Brandon Spikes, former defensive star for the Gators and current New England Patriots rookie, found himself in a sticky situation last week when an 11-minute, better-than-Paris-but-worse-than-Colin-Farrell-quality Chatroulette sex tape surfaced.
No stranger to controversy, the alleged (but not really) Spikes shows us his multifaceted talents in being tight end, wide receiver — we could go on for days — as his Kardashian look-alike partner commits her own personal fouls as she roughs the passer — seriously, days.
Jokes aside, this spread formation — OK, last one — could prove a little less jolly than one imagined from simply getting his jollies off.
Reebok has reportedly chosen to not finalize Spike’s $60,000 endorsement deal following the viral rounds of the video where more is being blown than Spikes’ cash.
Following Pittsburgh Steeler’s Ben Roethlisberger’s acquittal of sexual assault and subsequent suspension of four games, we can only imagine what kind of booty Spikes will be missing out on from a lack of playing time after his naughty boy punishment.
But above everything, we’re just surprised Spikes’ generally agreed upon greatest weakness is his slow-poke pace despite the fact he has three legs.
Keep the crazy coming, Gators.
