I didn’t have many friends growing up. The few friends I did have were only made because we were stuck together for X number of hours every day from elementary school until high-school graduation. Most of them didn’t stick around too long after the classrooms no longer held us together. I realized shortly after graduation I would be going into college entirely alone in a completely new city, and I was terrified. But now Gainesville feels more like home than my hometown ever did. I feel like I belong here, and I’ve found my niche. I’m able to surround myself with people whom I genuinely care about and who genuinely care about me. What scares me, though, is that this is a town where a solid chunk of its population is constantly in transit, so it’s almost impossible to tell how long these people will be in my life.
Maintaining relationships is one of my biggest issues, mostly because I hate the feeling of loss that comes when a relationship ends. I think just about everyone can relate to that. Because Gainesville is a college town, the majority of the people are only here for a set amount of time and then they’re off to build their futures elsewhere. It has often made me wonder if I should even bother with forming attachments to anyone I meet. But I’ve learned to shake that feeling despite it becoming more and more apparent to me that I’m one of the only ones who hasn’t planned on setting sail and moving away immediately after graduation. I don’t have much of a plan, to be honest. But that’s another story.
I’ve tried to solve my attachment issue by spending most of my time with friends who are at least a few years older than I am, because I know they’re already done with the school system and they’ll probably stick around for a bit longer. But I am trying to make connections with more people in my age range so I don’t have to keep hearing stories that start with, “When I was your age.” Sure, I’ll make small talk with some of the students in my classes, but I do this knowing they’ll more than likely be moving on to a new town in a few years, too. Maybe we’ll stay in touch on social media or grab lunch every once in a while if our paths cross, and that’s perfectly OK. There has been a time or three when one of my classroom acquaintances became a huge part of who I am — one of them is even my cat’s godfather, so now we’re stuck together for life.
So, what’s the point in bringing all of this up? For those who are overwhelmed by the transient state of Gainesville, as I was for so long, don’t fret. Whatever the case may be, living in a town in transit will have its ups and downs. You may have an entirely different group of friends by the end of your senior year than the one you started college with. But you’ll discover the benefits to this lifestyle, too — like having a place to crash in so many different states that you might as well plan a post-graduation road trip to visit them all.
A word of advice for those of you who are new to town: Talk to your classmates. Strike up a conversation with people you meet walking through Turlington Plaza. Get to know your neighbors. Gainesville has been home to some of the best people I’ve ever met, and it would be a shame to let anything get in the way of life-changing relationships.
Alexa DeLoera is a UF political science senior. Her column appears on Fridays.
