“’Dear God,’ Gabel would pray as a teenager, ‘When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want a female body.’”
Against Me! frontman Tom Gabel spoke out last week in a big way, revealing exclusively to Rolling Stone magazine that he is transgender, has spent almost his entire life feeling trapped in the wrong skin and will be undergoing the steps necessary to transition into a woman.
That quote, taken from Josh Eells’ “The Secret Life of Tom Gabel” in Rolling Stone, Issue 1157, is perhaps the shortest summation of the seemingly hellish personal life of Gabel — the life he struggled through as he led the Gainesville-based Against Me! to become one of the most recognized political-punk bands in the country. From his life as a young teenager in Florida, to Against Me!’s rise with “Searching for a Former Clarity,” to the band’s most recent and best-selling record, “White Crosses,” Gabel has struggled with a condition known as gender dysphoria.
As the Rolling Stone article explains it, gender dysphoria is “a feeling of intense dissatisfaction and disconnect from the gender you were assigned at birth.” Gabel puts it more bluntly, “It’s a feeling of detachment from your body and from yourself. And it’s shitty, man. It’s really fucking shitty.”
When Gabel’s feelings swelled to the point where he decided it was time to transition to presenting as a female, he told his band (“I felt like I drop-kicked them in the face”) and he told his wife, Heather. The couple’s 2-year-old daughter, Evelyn, isn’t quite old enough to understand.
To Gabel’s intense relief, everyone took it well. His bandmates stood beside him. Heather remained strong for him. The couple will remain together, still as in love as ever. Gabel’s mom took the news well too.
Gabel’s new name is Laura Jane Grace. She will take hormones and undergo electrolysis treatments that will make her feel and appear more feminine. She might have surgery in a couple of years. Right now, she’s just taking it one step at a time.
Laura Jane Grace’s decision is an intensely intimate one, but due to Against Me!’s prominence, it’s a decision that has been left to the scrutiny of millions on the Internet. Fortunately, the punk community that has supported Against Me! for years has responded mainly with support. And the community should be supportive — everyone should.
The same day Laura’s decision made headlines on the websites of every major news source, North Carolina announced its ban on gay marriage. It was clear on that day more than most that we live in a society that is not accepting of all cultures and choices. Living in North Florida, most of us have seen people demonstrate small-mindedness, sometimes on our very own campus, on our very own Turlington Plaza. Many people use religion as their reasoning for rejecting new ideas about marriage, and they certainly would reject a decision like Laura’s.
This is why every ounce of support is so important and essential at this time. Laura’s decision is one that took an enormous amount of bravery, an unimaginable amount of courage; really, the list of adjectives could go on and on. Not everyone has the influence to make an impact as big as Laura’s, but she demonstrates how willing we all should be to do whatever it takes to carry our lives out the way we want to.
Above all, this decision is not one that should make you feel angry or repulsed in any way. If you do find yourself resenting Laura’s decision, ask yourself why. Not only does it not affect you, but Tom is becoming happier by becoming Laura. Doing what makes you happy is, by far, the most punk thing a person can do.
Oh, and as for the future of the band; Laura intends to continue on and become the frontwoman of Against Me!
“However fierce our band was in the past,” she tells Rolling Stone, “Imagine me, six-foot-two in heels, fucking screaming in someone’s face.”
