Wednesday night I found myself licking lube off my fingers in a classroom full of people.
Let me explain. Last week was Pride Student Union’s Sexxx Week, which included sex-related events each day. On Wednesday night, there was a safe-sex workshop, and the employees of X-Mart, a local adult supercenter, came to speak about sex toys.
So on the night in question, I felt my first dildo, my first vibrator and my first strap-on harness. And yes, I tasted my first flavored lubricant.
Sex toys have been on my radar for a long time, but I’ve never actually considered buying or using one myself.
I asked myself why this was, and this is the best explanation I could come up with: It’s embarrassing to admit that I want the help of an inanimate object or a battery-powered machine rather than, say, a living human being.
So, now I have a confession to make: I went to X-Mart this weekend. OK, I’ll be honest — I went to X-Mart twice this weekend.
Why is it important for me to admit that? Because there is still a big social stigma attached to going to a sex shop, as well as buying a sex toy and using it.
I was talking to a friend about X-Mart, and he said he had gone before. But he had the mentality that he needed to hide and wear a big hat and sunglasses, like it was shameful to be looking at sex toys.
People! It’s not something to be ashamed of.
People spend more than $15 billion a year on sex toys, according to sex toy website Adam & Eve. Clearly toys are popular, so why aren’t we talking about them?
Just like with anything sex-related, it is important to start a dialogue. Talking about sex toys in an open manner can help make them a normal part of life, not something to hide in your nightstand drawer.
I’ll start. Although I haven’t bought a sex toy yet — I’m a poor college student, and I can’t justify spending my grandfather’s Christmas money on a G-spot vibrator — I definitely intend to.
And you know what? I plan on using that toy by myself, with my partners and in any situation possible.
If you do plan on using a sex toy with your partner, you need to discuss that first. College Magazine says “sex toys also have the potential to spice up your long-term relationship.”
If you and your partner have been stuck in a rut, it might help to try something new, whether through bondage, anal beads or using a glass dildo on each other.
When he spoke at the event, the manager of X-Mart, Sam, mentioned that communication is important when you use sex toys in a relationship. Make sure you and your partner are comfortable and that you have a safe-word if whatever you are doing requires it.
If you don’t have a partner to use your sex toy with, that’s OK, too. You guys already know how I feel about masturbation. It’s great, everybody should do it, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I feel the same way about masturbating with sex toys.
If you do plan on buying a sex toy, I recommend talking to a sex shop employee or reading reviews online — my favorite website is Oh Joy, Sex Toy — to make sure that the specific toy is what you are looking for.
College is the perfect time to explore the realm of sex toys. The cliche that college students experiment with sex more than any other demographic is a cliche for a reason, so embrace that and hold your head high when you walk into a sex shop.
Happy sex-toy shopping, folks!
[Robyn Smith is a UF journalism sophomore. Her columns appear on Mondays. A version of this column ran on page 6 on 2/24/2014 under the headline "Toy story: In the defense of sex toys"]
