National politics in the U.S. tend to drive people to different ends of the political spectrum. We can’t help but be drawn into the cyclone of outrage. It draws in everyone with a connection to TV or Twitter with a siren song — the talking heads on cable news essentially say, “Don’t worry. Don’t re-examine your position on immigration. Your instincts are right. Instead, get mad at these other guys.” What you may realize is that your associates and loved ones have radically different views. Stick to your position, but know that making a political point isn’t worth a ruined friendship.
There has been a flurry of news articles published about how President Donald Trump is ruining peoples’ relationships. “Can social psychologists explain why Trump is ruining my friendship?” is seen in the Los Angeles Times. “He Likes Trump. She Doesn’t. Can This Marriage Be Saved?” is seen in The New York Times. “Trump presidency is destroying marriages across the country” seen in the New York Daily News. What gives? Is Trump such a force of nature that he can split America in two at the marriage?
Yes. Sort of. Trump’s election has deeply divided a country that was ripe for division. The political climate is inching back toward the polarization we saw in the 19th century (think battles over women’s suffrage, racial strife, the Civil War), according to Christopher Federico, a University of Minnesota professor of psychology and political science. Set sometime between age 18 and 25, a person’s political inclinations rarely change over the course of their life. If your marriage or friendship happens to get between your politics — pulled in opposite directions — chances are it will snap.
But that’s painting a grim picture of politics and a pessimistic picture of your spouse. While it is our natural tendency to want to find information that justifies our previously held beliefs, something “sciencey-types” call a confirmation bias, that bias can be overcome. If Trump versus former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is killing your marriage, ask yourself this: “Do I know the programming schedule of MSNBC by the hour? Do I know the same for Fox?” Examine your side of the equation to understand that you may also be to blame for the relationship’s deterioration, no matter how bad you believe Trump, Clinton or whoever is.
Many are looking at their Republican and Democrat friends, husbands and/or wives and evaluating if their relationship is truly worth it. The real question is whether politics are truly worth it. The smile-and-wave, baby-kissing hand-shakers will drop the charade and go back to their nice homes with families they love (most of them, anyway). You should, too.
Stephan Chamberlin is a UF political science junior. His column comes out Tuesday and Thursday.
