Looks like a Winnie the Pooh story outside lately, but we won’t let that stop us from getting excited about the holidays! Whether you like it or not, we get a few days off from school next week. Gnaw on some Tofurky (or don’t), view some sweet footballs (is that how it works) and get ready to give some thanks!
This brings us to the just-make-popcorn-and-toast-like-Charlie-Brown edition of ...
Darts & Laurels
The conflict involving Israel and Hamas became more violent this week, killing more than 10 people so far in the Gaza area. Attacks utilized rockets and airstrikes; early on Thursday, the two fighting factions even resorted to using their Twitter accounts before the website suspended their use. We give an it’s-a-dangerous-world-out-there DART to the Middle East. It’s probably been done before, but everyone just calm down. We also realize it’s not that simple to stop a conflict in the Middle East, but we can at least put it out there.
Why do people call where the president travels after a major storm a “recovery tour?” That sounds like when a celebrity gets out of rehab and goes on a lot of talk shows. Well, we digress. “We’re reminded that we are bound together and we have to look out for each other,” Obama said, in The New York Times. “The petty differences melt away.” We give an a-tour-could-also-be-the-kind-with-guitars-and-drums-and-stuff LAUREL to Obama. There’s no sense in blaming him for not personally rebuilding the Northeast; instead, let’s focus on a joint recovery effort.
Finally, something we can all celebrate! The final release of the “Twilight” movie franchise! Just kidding. No one cares. What we’re actually going to miss the most is Robert Pattinson’s complete and utter distaste for whatever he got himself into. We give a whatever FLART to “Twilight.” Thank you for giving us self-deprecating celebrities, but now it’s time for you to stop.
In other entertainment news — STOP READING NOW IF YOU DISLIKE SPOILERS ABOUT “30 Rock.” OK, WE GAVE YOU ENOUGH WARNING — Liz Lemon is getting married, you guys! In a press release sent in the form of a wedding invitation, we learned this week that Liz plans on marrying her latest boyfriend, Criss Chross. We give a finally-an-excuse-to-not-dress-like-a-farmer LAUREL to “30 Rock.” The show’s in its final season, so it’ll be interesting to see how they let this storyline play out.
There are a number of things that are considered impolite to ask a lady. One of those is her weight (the answer is always “enough”) and another is her age. A reporter asked Nancy Pelosi if she should start paving the way for younger leadership; many other female politicians filled the room with a “chorus of jeers and cries of ‘discrimination!’” according to the Washington Post. We give a stop-being-ageist-and-sexist-at-the-same-time DART to weird reporters. You’re making us all look bad.
Earlier this week, two thieves stole $1.5 million worth of iPad Minis, about 3,600 of the little tablets. It’s more than likely that these iPads were supposed to be delivered to customers who have already ordered the device, not just a shipment headed for retail stores. We give a pick-on-someone-your-own-size LAUREL to those two thieves. Really, like, good job, guys.
That’s all for this week. Have a safe weekend, and go Gators!
