Our whole lives, we work to be independent. College is our first shot at independence, and quite frankly, most of us blow it at least a little bit at the beginning. Try as we might to stop relying on other people, we can never hope to be truly free from some sort of dependence on others, and that’s OK.
In order to function properly as people, we must ask for help from time to time. However, this can be a vicious cycle. The process of becoming a highly functioning person will inevitably involve other people, but as highly functioning members of society, we sometimes struggle with admitting that we need help. When we succeed, we want the credit for it.
In addition, asking for help can make us feel as though we are an inconvenience. As a journalism student, I am in a perpetual state of feeling like I’m bothering people. Believe me, I get it. Here’s the thing, though: You’re not an inconvenience.
I’ve discussed this in previous columns, but I cannot emphasize it enough. The most important asset we have in this world is each other. Of course, other people’s time is valuable. You shouldn’t waste their time just for the sake of wasting it. However, your time is not automatically worth less than others’. You have just as much of a right to ask for help as anyone else.
Before each time I asked for help I used to think, “The worst they can say is ‘no.’” I’ve come to find that this is simply not true. Sure, people can politely decline. People can also be extremely rude. People can ignore you. People can promise to help and then not. People can chastise you for even suggesting they may have enough time in their busy day to help you out. But regardless, you are not out of line for asking.
My point is that as people, we should both use our resources and be a resource. Ask for help. You are not asking too much, and you are not in the wrong. Give help. You are not above it, and you will not be dragged down. If you are too busy, direct them elsewhere. Give them what you can, and send them to someone who can give them what they need.
There’s a reason we aren’t in this alone. There are more than 7 billion of us on this spinning ball we call home, and it is impossible to navigate this life without enlisting some of them to be on your team. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength.
Approaching someone and asking for assistance is often not an easy task. It takes courage. It takes self-awareness. You have to recognize that what you understand, know or can do on your own just won’t cut it. This can be very difficult.
Asking for help does not mean you are lazy or unable to succeed on your own. It means you recognize a higher potential. It means you seek a higher level of success, and you are confident enough in yourself to realize that adding another person’s skills or knowledge to yours will only help you, and the human race, in the long run.
How many brilliant scientific papers give credit to just one person? How many people accept awards and don’t thank a single other person for helping them get that far? We can go fast alone, but we can go far together. Whatever side of the request for help you are on, remember that. Helping another is only inconvenient if you’re thinking of just yourself. With that attitude, we can’t hope to do what the world needs us to do.
Taylor Cavaliere is a UF journalism and psychology sophomore. Her column appears on Mondays.