Although prostitution is illegal in Sweden, sex tourism may be getting a revolutionary shift into self-service.
As reported on Sept. 12 by The Local, a Swedish news website, a 65-year-old man was acquitted of sexual assault after he was caught spanking the monkey on the beach.
By spanking the monkey, I mean masturbating.
He was caught shorts-off, hands-down on the beach in early June and charged with sexual assault, but the Södertörn District Court, near Stockholm, acquitted him.
Public prosecutor Olof Vrethammar took on the public masturbator, but said that for it to be a criminal offense, the person going Hans Solo needs to be directing his attention at one or more people.
For lack of better words, he got off because he wasn’t aiming at anyone.
Don’t go buying those plane tickets just yet, ladies and gentlemen, it may still be considered disorderly conduct.
So what does this mean? Is Sweden the new haven for people who enjoy taking matters into their own hands while surrounded by clueless company?
It’s hard to believe that any country will allow itself to become such a thing. Disorderly conduct could still be the punishment; more of a slap on the wrist after being caught tending to your own affairs.
Again, prosecutor Vrethammar said it was “OK” to masturbate in public, as long as you’re not exercising your right at anyone specifically.
This is happening in Sweden, by the way, not here -- just a friendly reminder. Someone didn’t get the memo in Gainesville and was arrested on Sept. 11, the day before the Swedish court made its decision.
Perhaps our local daredevil was politically aware and participated in non-traditional protest and was held as a political prisoner?
Nah. Not if you’re taking charge of manual labor while in Planet Smoothie. Damn it, bro. What the hell?
Although, I don’t know if anyone wants to try the Swedish, no-victim strategy. Anyone? Set up a precedent?
I hope not. Last thing I need to see is an elevated level of self-PDA of people going to town while I’m trying to walk around town.
But if that’s your thing, you now have a place that sounds more tolerant, just remember to watch your wandering eyes whenever you’re practicing wrist aerobics.
