A northern California brewery has taken it upon itself to establish the most directly proportionate presidential election model so far this election year. Actually, the brewery has only succeeded in running the election hype into the ground.
In what it calls the "Alection," the Half Moon Bay Brewing Company is selling the same beer - an ale, specifically - marked as either Sen. Barack Obama or Sen. John McCain and tracking the quantities purchased of each.
Our expert analysis reveals that given the nearly four-to-one lead, the Obama ale has in the Alection, northern Californians either put way too much stock in their beer, or in their preferred presidential candidates.
We refused to wear Michael Jordan's cologne. Do you think we want to down a pint of McCain ale?
As for Obama, he strikes us as more of an appletini guy than a beer drinker, so we doubt he would care to have the vote of the surly northern Californian beer guzzlers who only pay attention to politics during the three months leading up to a presidential election.
The best and worst parts of the Alection are the ridiculous quips and quotes from the brewery owners. Although each candidate's label is hugging a bottle of the same ale, Half Moon Bay's Director of Sales and Marketing Wayne Meyer says that one is "light on content, and the other is aged a long time."
Get it? Because Obama's inexperienced and McCain is old, but this time it's funny because it also refers to beer.
The Alection also urges voters to vote early and often.
According to Meyer, the company's customers are having fun with the idea, saying that "most people take it fairly lightly with a nice buzz."
We firmly believe bad jokes make the world go round, so we would like to thank this brewing company for relieving us of the terrible burden of spewing half-assed one-liners.
