Scrawled on a ripped piece of paper on Marcee Lee Winthrop's refrigerator are the words, "When I want to cry, I will laugh instead."
The phrase is Winthrop's mantra, and the same sense of determination resonates in her poetry, which she hopes will be her lifeline out of poverty.
She started writing poetry as part of a New Year's resolution to live up to her potential and improve her life. When her husband left in early March, Winthrop and her 13-year-old daughter Tammy were left on their own.
Winthrop, 54, had all of her teeth at 13, but she now only has three visible front teeth - a physical characteristic that she said keeps her unemployed, along with her lack of job experience. Medical care, doctors' visits and dental work are luxuries she can't afford, she said.
"I try to make a joke of it, but it hurts inside," she said. "I used to smile all the time… that seems so far away."
Timid because of her appearance, Winthrop puts aside her insecurities to take the stage at venues such as UF's Orange & Brew during open mic poetry nights. She hopes that her poetry will help people understand the hardships of poverty and take action against it.
Winthrop, who lives in a mobile home on Southwest Archer Road about 10 minutes outside of Gainesville's city limits, said she and her daughter attend poetry readings around Gainesville, often traveling for more than an hour on two buses. Winthrop said she plans to share her poetry as long as she has money for bus fares or rides from friends. She will read her work at the Civic Media Center's Weekly Poetry Jam Thursday night.
"When you're in need, you start thinking boldly," she said.
The first poem she wrote, called "I am a Face of Poverty in America," addresses her anger with the U.S. government, which she said treats her as an "expendable soul" because of her poverty.
Winthrop said her experiences seeking government assistance have been frustrating, especially due to her lack of transportation. A lot of poor people feel like cattle wandering from building to building, referenced as a number instead of a name, she said.
Her poems address the hardships and the sense of shame that often accompany poverty, overlooked by people who have never experienced them. When she eats, she must chew carefully because of her fragile remaining teeth. When she walks 10 blocks home from the grocery store, the plastic bags dig into her hands, making them numb.
Winthrop said she hopes to publish books of her poetry. She has the titles already picked out, and she wants the first to be "Poverty Revolution Part 1: Skimming the Surface," she said with a grin.
So far, she's written 10 poems with commentary of each poem's inspiration, she said.
Winthrop does most of her writing in coffee shops, such as Barnie's Coffee & Tea Co., while Tammy sits with her and draws, often cartoons.
Home-schooled since first grade, Tammy travels everywhere with her mom.
"I cheer her on as much as I can," Tammy said. "I think daughters should cheer their moms on. They need support, too."
Family, friends and neighbors support Winthrop's ambitions.
Edwin Luciano, who has known Winthrop since she moved into the neighborhood a few years ago, said he admires Winthrop.
"She's stepping out and doing something special," he said. "It just goes into people's hearts and makes a difference."
