Gainesville, we can’t live like this much longer: Are you participating in this polar vortex or not? Why do you think it’s acceptable to be 80 degrees and muggy one day and 49 degrees and windy the next? At this rate, we’re going to have to start investing in those ‘90s-throwback cargo pants with legs that unzip into shorts.
So here it is: your Gainesville-we-are-literally-so-done-with-your-bulls**t-weather edition of...
Darts & Laurels
First, the Alligator wants to extend the biggest congratulatory LAUREL to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office — in particular, the team that’s been working for years to discover the missing pieces in the story of Tiffany Sessions’ disappearance. On Thursday, authorities named a suspect in Sessions’ disappearance and announced plans to move forward in the investigation in hopes of closing the case.
The resolution of the Sessions disappearance will be an important step for cold case teams everywhere. In 2005 and 2007, the U.S. National Institute of Justice awarded a total of $22.2 million to state and local police departments to focus on opening cases that had gone cold. We’re hoping that Alachua County’s success will encourage the NIJ to award more funds to Florida as well as other states to reopen old homicide and sexual assault cases.
This week, Devon Lochte misinterpreted his older brother Ryan’s urges to “turn it up” and found himself in trouble after violating terms of his probation after a urine test came back positive for marijuana. He was arrested on Valentine’s Day of 2012 for possession of marijuana with intent to sell, and police arrested him on Tuesday after his latest misstep.
Devon, hang up your shutter shades and see yourself out: That is not acceptable Lochterage behavior. This week, a DART goes to the Lochte camp for failing to keep its s**t together.
Another bad-behavior DART goes a certain prominent member of the UF community too: Florida baseball player Harrison Bader, who was suspended from the team this week after an incident that involved a scooter, a parked truck and — probably — a lot of alcohol.
Although we’re sure drunken scooter accidents happen every day, we highlight cases involving UF athletes because they’re supposed to represent our school. Is it fair that certain UF students get way more attention for their drunken — or sober — transgressions simply because they’re athletes? Probably not, but at the same time, it’s part of the position. After all, Bader and all other athletes who do dumb things all got into UF on the basis of their grades in addition to their prowess on the field, they should know better.
Finally, in light of the recent $1 trillion farm bill that passed in the Senate on Monday and its stipulations that would require meat providers to include more information about the sources of their products to the public, we give Ward’s Supermarket an as-if-we-needed-another-reason-to-love-your-fresh-produce-and-amazing-chocolate-chip-cookies LAUREL for launching a brand of locally raised beef.
Stay warm and dry this weekend, Gators!
[A version of this editorial ran on page 6 on 2/7/2014 under the headline "Darts & Laurels"]
