He’s got the face of an innocent angel, the voice of a pre-pubescent Backstreet Boy and a mane that shimmers like heaven’s rising sun. Yet, lusting after him feels like the filthiest of sins.
Ever since Justin Bieber, 16, popped out of YouTube and into Usher’s beauteous arms, he’s had preteens on their knees and cougars salivating, counting down to March 1, 2012 — when getting down with Biebs won’t land you an orange jumpsuit and an intimate relationship with a jail-cell-sweetheart named Bernice.
In the meantime, we want to get as close to Biebster’s bod as we can. Thanks to OPI’s knack for satisfying this nation’s needs, we can enjoy the divo right at our fingertips — literally. Bieber has partnered with cosmetic brand Nicole by OPI to create a line of nail polish pinned “One Less Lonely Girl.” Sure, we’ll give the duo props for crafty polish names like “Me + Blue,” a metallic blue, and “Step 2 the Beat of my Heart,” a heart-shaped glitter number, but what in the world of bubblegum pop is going on here?
While the little nugget is a man of multiple dimensions, including dancing, singing, acting, Tweeting and charming, he has no hand (no pun intended) in the tween beauty industry.
Thus, the Avenue concocted our own list of celeb-inspired rip-offs — erm, products — that would hit shelves in our perfect Tiger Beat world.
Jonas Brothers Massage Oil
The Jo Bros have made it no secret that they don promise rings to showcase their purity below. That’s obviously why we want the trio to heat things up with some KY-inspired action. A warming oil, “Burnin’ Up,” would be the star of the line, followed by “Love is on its Way” — no explanation needed.
Miley Cyrus Lingerie
Not-so-innocent Miles has clearly burned her Hannah Montana wig and is about two steps away from sliding into X-tina’s assless chaps, so we figured we’d just capitalize on what everyone knows is coming. Cyrus is already Walmart’s princess with her Max Azria collaboration, but we want her to make her way back to the lair of lingerie a few aisles back.
Justin Timberlake Lip Line
Truthfully, we’d be down for anything that involves our lips and JT. We’ve conjured up a whole spectacle for the man who brought sexy back with lip gloss, lip balm, cold sore treatments — the works. For the glossy shine, try “Cry me a Shimmer River,” “Bye Bye Bye Bumps” for the line’s Abbreva and “Rock your Balm” for the lip balm number.
