Over drinks the other day, my girlfriend said something puzzling: "I like to sleep with my friends because I know them, but why do they always end up falling for me when I specifically tell them this isn't anything more than sex?"
Her assertion got me thinking that I have a slew of friends with exactly the opposite problem - they think bedding their bud will produce their happily ever after.
But do "friends-with-benefits" ever end up working? Isn't someone going to end up hurt? Doesn't the friendship become strained and awkward?
The temptation for falling into the scenario is relatively self-explanatory: nookie without the needy, canoodling without the commitment, but safety and security from the sex. Like socialism, it seems brilliantly workable on paper. Reality check. It's not.
A 2006 Michigan State University study found 60 percent of college students surveyed had or currently have a "FWB," but also that the situation usually brought more stress than satisfaction.
Maybe someone wonders why they they wouldn't be a good couple if they were good as friends in the sack. Hurt feelings and disappointed expectations ensue and onward the awkward scenario unfolds.
More of a numbers person? The same Michigan State survey also found that only 10 percent of FWBs ever turn into real romantic bliss. Further, a fourth of those surveyed lost their friendship entirely.
Perhaps my former friend-with-benefit status binds me to such skepticism. I once attempted to turn my bud into my beu. I failed miserably and I have the journal entries to prove it.
But I'd like to believe that I'm now wise enough now to see that the situation never ends up the way it's entered into - light-heartedly.
Nine times out of 10 these situations fail to produce amore. More threatening, you have the potential of losing a person who you considered a trusting enough friend that you let them see you naked.
Sure, the allure of friendly casual sex is omnipresent in us all, but sometimes keeping our raging hormones in check is a greater sign of maturity and self-assuredness.
