It was a banner week for bipartisan tomfoolery, culminating on Friday and coming from both Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele and Democratic strategist James Carville.
To start the week off peachy, Steele, in an interview with Sean Hannity, not only voiced his lack of confidence in the RNC’s chances for gaining control of the House in the upcoming midterm elections, but also referred to himself as an “honest injun.” In his defense, maybe Michael doesn’t realize it isn’t 1956 — he should really fix those crooked glasses of his. Regardless, he spent the rest of the week backtracking both comments.
Then, in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Steele said he is leading the RNC because he was placed there by God. I suppose this means God is a Democrat, go figure.
Beyond that, I’d have to agree with his implying that he’s merely a pawn — perhaps “tool” would be a more appropriate word — simply adhering to a much larger scheme of things. After all, what else but a divine plan could place such a painfully out-of-touch, political-friendly, fire-prone man at the head of his own party? Steele presents yet another puzzling example of rationalizing the inexplicable with the inconceivable.
What really surprised me about his interview, however, is that he made all the effort to appear on CBN and talk about sensing this “higher directive,” (having more of a gut feeling than a direct line to the Big Man, I suppose) and then neglected to ask for any money from the viewers. I mean, if you’re going to play your crowd like that, you’ve got to commit to it. That’s how the game goes. If he’s going to insist in reneging on his own party, the least he could do is have some impromptu funding to show for it.
Here’s how it should have gone down: Steele gets a special message from God about where he fits in functionally, then a message about where the audience fits in financially. Boom — that’s $2 million in the RNC’s pocket by day’s end. Steele’s wrangler (or whoever it is that makes him apologize all the time) needs to get him in touch with Rick Warren to see how that formula breaks down, because R-Dubs knows how to run that track.
Meanwhile, over on The Tony Kornheiser Show, James Carville was busy losing his mind. As a solution for airport security, Carville suggested a system in which the Transportation Security Administration would give him a security pass, “and y’know, measure [his] penis and let [him] get on the plane.” I just hope he didn’t first think it and then decide, “OK, let’s go ahead and say that.”
Perhaps he’s reaching out, in a way, and suggesting that he alone is well enough endowed to take on potential terrorists, no-handed (they don’t call him the Ragin’ Cajun for nothing). Evildoers everywhere will cower in fear at the thought of the blunt force trauma and black eyes doled out by Carville’s robust manhood. Of course, this is entirely appropriate for a man who looks like a giant, emaciated phallus with astigmatism — a Clark Kent for the new decade, you might say. Perhaps we’ve found our first actual super hero, folks.
These blunders make me wonder: Is it the oversaturation of media that brings to light more gaffes than have been the norm in the past, or is some Adam Smith-esque invisible hand leading us to favor political personalities who would be exceedingly entertaining on such grand a stage?
