In the ‘60s, we were thinking about the future. We thought about how we might drive flying cars, cherish our housework robots and live on freeze-dried peas like spacemen. What we didn’t predict was an app that could send a chauffeur to your house in under a minute and take you wherever you wanted, all without the need to vocalize any directions or requests.
Ride-hailing apps aren’t as glamorous as chrome cities, and this future is much more fraught with social gray area. Uber can be tricky, so depending on what you’re like, you may find these tips helpful.
To antisocial people who don’t like to talk: Once you greet your driver, you’re off the hook. Don’t feel pressured to have small talk with anybody else in the car. If you’re worried you might come off as impolite, don’t be. Your driver has experienced depths of awkwardness you probably couldn’t imagine.
They likely have overheard phone conversations planning pony princess parties for someone’s 37-year-old uncle. They likely have had marital disputes play out center stage in their backseat. They have hosted someone who smelled like ponies and not at all like princesses in their front seat.
Your quiet serenity isn’t going to offend them. Pretend you’re concentrated on a book or on your phone. Wear earbuds. Don’t sweat the silence.
To those of you who are chronically late to things: The other people in your UberPool ride are probably peeved at you. When you saunter out of your house toward your ride, which, much to the chagrin of the other passengers, has been patiently idling in the street blocking traffic for three minutes, the least you could do is give it some hustle. Put some pep in your step. At least pretend that you were busy and in a rush.
This is the information age of lightning-quick responses and push notifications. If you call an Uber, don’t begin to shave or apply makeup. Perhaps you may want to wait until you’re all dolled up to confirm that ride.
Finally, and most importantly, to those of you who haven’t been tipping your driver: start. Driving for Uber is harder than you think. To give you an idea of how much your driver might be making, consider that the national average is $20 per hour. Sound like a lot?
Consider now that the vehicle is being used for commercial purposes, devaluing it at 10 percent per month for resale purposes as opposed to 10 percent per year with personal vehicles (Unless you commit fraud and don’t report that to the buyer).
The service costs on using the car everyday (driving, braking and door-slamming) are steep — easily more than $1,500 per month in maintenance. If you don’t report commercial use to your insurer, which many drivers do not, you lose 100 percent of coverage from both Uber and your own policy. Drivers pay sales tax on each transaction out of pocket.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. In short, you should be tipping your driver because they’re doing a public service and they’re not getting much out of it.
While we may not enjoy the “cities of tomorrow” that the ‘60s promised us, we do enjoy a fleet of doting taxis who provide complimentary mints and water. Appreciate what you’ve been given by being a good passenger. Be on time. Tip. Don’t smell.
Stephan Chamberlin is a UF political science junior. His column comes out Tuesday and Thursday.
