The semester is slowly (or quickly, depending on your situation) coming to an end, and it’s been an interesting one for sure.
While this is the last Friday of publication for the semester, it won’t be the last time we take a minute to poke fun at and recognize the good and the bad for the week.
So, sit back, relax and enjoy this week’s where-the-hell-did-the-semester-go edition of...
Darts & Laurels
What the hell is wrong with some people?
For allegedly attempting to meet with a 14-year-old girl for sex and then arguing that he thought he was trying to meet up with a 17-year-old, we throw a what-makes-that-any-less-creepy DART to Andrew Noell, a 25-year-old music teacher from Ocala.
Gross.
Speaking of monkeys, residents of Gainesville have been on the lookout for one that the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation has been trying to catch. For that, we give a they-will-never-take-away-my-freedom LAUREL to the Patas monkey.
You go, monkey!
While we’re on things that are exotic, there has been a big to-do about a scandal involving U.S. Secret Service agents and prostitutes in Colombia. We don’t really care about this issue too much, but we are going to throw a dude-you-need-to-pay-for-your-services DART at the Secret Service agent who did not pay his escort.
Thanks for making us look cheap!
Speaking of not paying for things, we throw a how-does-that-300-dollar-taco-taste DART at UF basketball player Erving Walker, who was arrested for stealing a $3 taco from a food stand. That taco is now costing him a $300 fine.
Mmm, mmm, mmm … justice.
We have to give a getting-involved-and-making-your-voices-heard LAUREL to the students and faculty who protested cuts to the Computer and Information Science and Engineering Department this week.
Five students were able to meet with College of Engineering Dean Abernathy and extended the deadline for budget proposals to May 7.
Good job!
Finally, on a more serious note, we give a double-whammy-thanks-for-your-contributions-to-American-culture LAUREL to Dick Clark and Levon Helm, who passed away this week.
At age 82, Clark passed away from a heart attack in Santa Monica, Calif. Clark was known for hosting “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” and the classic “American Bandstand.”
Helm, who passed away at the age of 71 after complications with cancer, was the drummer and singer for The Band.
Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back Wednesday for the final Darts and Laurels of the semester!
