I don't know if you knew this, but UF has an art museum.
If you're not impressed by the sheer fact that the art museum does exist, know this: its collection includes a Monet landscape and Marilyn Monroe silkscreens from Andy Warhol.
Not only that, but the Harn Museum of Art, as well as the Florida Museum of Natural History, is open to the public on Thursday nights. It's called Museum Nights.
When my Valentine's Day plans fell through on Thursday (unable to locate batteries for TV remote), I decided to go.
As luck would have it, psychologist Shauna Springer was giving a lecture on "The Science of Love: Choosing a Mate Wisely and Maintaining a Strong Relationship."
(The speeches "Love: L is for Loser" and "Get Over Yourself: Life Was Never Meant to Work Out for You Anyway, and Valentine's Day is Just Annual Proof of This; Consider Joining a Religious Order" were apparently canceled.)
I was confused at first because the title's use of "mate" made it sound like something to do with koala bears or prairie dogs. But when I didn't see any of those animals in the audience, I reasoned they probably had something better to do with their free time, such as actually mating instead of just hearing about it.
Granted, I could not care less about maintaining a strong relationship as much as, well, getting one, but there was still a lot of interesting information.
For example, the Spanish words for wives and handcuffs are the same: "esposas."
I should have known this ever since I got arrested in Mexico for trying to marry an inanimate object, but whatever. Fortunately for married people, though, they seem to have a biological immune boost, and thus heal faster. Stress does that, too, right? Hmm…
Springer talked about how over-familiarity in a relationship isn't favorable, as it decreases attention. This, of course, explains why that Taco Bell drive-thru lady stopped giving me extra hot sauce packets in November 2006.
Also, there was talk of how beautiful people may be plagued with insecurity because of fewer opportunities to develop strength of character. Interestingly, this is a problem I deal with every day - as an ugly person.
Something else came up that I found particularly disturbing. Springer mentioned some people are changing their marriage vows to read "…for as long as we both shall 'love,'" instead of the traditional "hate."
Springer discussed "The Bachelor' Phenomenon," where contestants were falling in love by proxy during the show. The women fell in love with the exotic trips and fancy dinners - all of which ended with the show's run.
Essentially, they were dating ABC - something that's only happening again thanks to "Grey's Anatomy." When we fall in love, Springer said, we idealize our partners, fill information gaps with projected fantasies and have two years of free hormones. "Falling in love is very much, chemically, like a cocaine high," she said.
Because of this, Springer stressed the "two-year rule," which allows couples to become comfortable with who they really are, rather than acting on a high.
I thought the speech was informative, entertaining and invigorating. Next time I'm on a date, possibly in a museum, hopefully by next Valentine's Day, I'll be sure to impress with my knowledge of marriage psychology and effective long-term relationships.
Women love a guy who knows what he's talking about, right?
Vincent Massaro is a journalism senior. His column appears on Mondays.
